Developed/Published By: Coffee Stain Studios
Date of Release: April 17, 2015
Price: $9.99
In the beginning, there was goat named Pilgor. She was a very goaty goat, spending her days doing goaty things. Pilgor grazed every day in her grassy yard, ever dreaming of the world outside her fenced domain. One day she noticed Bigge peering at her over the fence, and decided to strike up a conversation. "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaah" she said. Bigge didn't notice. So Pilgor decided to make a more physical approach, and charged through the fence, headbutting Bigge forcefully. "I want my mommyyyyyy!" cried Bigge, as he was launched through the air, impacting a nearby propane tank and perishing in the explosion.
Pilgor blinked, and realized that she was free from the confines of her goat pen. She decided then and there to become an explorer, and discover all the marvels of this new world. So she trotted merrily along the path, crossed the road, and found herself surrounded by people waving strange signs on sticks. They all seemed to be very angry at a man on a nearby stage, so she decided to help out. Pilgor climbed onto the stage, and with a loud "baaaaaaaah!" she headbutted the man into the crowd. Strangely, that seemed to make everyone even more upset, as the crowd ran away screaming.
Dejectedly, Pilgor continued her journey, wondering why people seemed so afraid of her. She stopped at the local gas station and tried to make friends with the gas pumps, but they just exploded when she nudged them. Then she visited a backyard party where everyone was dancing, and tried to join in with her new friend, a giant boulder. Sadly no one wanted to party with her rocky friend, so she left, looking for somewhere that she would fit in.
Pilgor decided to get a better view of her surroundings, so she climbed up to the very top of a tall crane at a nearby construction site. Gstfs was up at the top, sitting at the end of the jib. Pilgor said hello, but that just served to startle him, and he fell to his gruesome demise. Pilgor bleated sadly, deciding that maybe she should just join him, after all no one seemed to like her very much. As she contemplated leaping from the crane, she spotted a rooftop party in the distance. Seeign the bright lights and the happy dancing people, she decided to give one more try at making friends.
Pilgor climbed down the crane, and hopped onto the roof of a passing car, riding it into town. She found the tallest building and rode to the roof in a elevator, where she found the dance party. Deadmau5 was DJing, and people really seemed to be into the music. Pilgor let out a loud bleat in greeting, and everyone turned to look at her as the music stopped. She walked up to the stage, and Deadmau5 put one of his famous helmets on her head, and motioned for her to join everyone else. Pilgor struggled to hold back tears of joy as she joined the crowd and danced the night away with them.
After a satisfying night of dancing, Pilgor bid farewell to her new friends, and strapped on a jetpack to make her way home. She soared over the city as the sun rose, feeling content that she had finally found her place in the world. Today was the first day of the rest of her life. The world was her oyster! Nothing, no matter what, would ever get her down.
And then she flew into a helicopter and perished in a fiery blast.
