Tony Hawk's Pro Skater HD Review (PC)

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater HD (PC)
Developed By: Robomodo
Published By: Activision
Date of Release: September 18, 2012
Price: $9.99

Since the dawn of time man has always felt the need to set forth and prove himself by doing increasingly stupid things. Surfing. Wakeboarding. Parasailing. Snowboarding. Hotdog Eating Contests. All of these increasingly dangerous stunts lead up to one thing: Professional Skateboarding. Thanks to this amazing sport anyone out there can hop on a board and make an arse of themselves, sometimes even earning a Darwin Award in the process. However thanks to Tony Hawk and his video game series Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, those of us with a strong aversion to getting maimed or dying can enjoy the thrills and spills of skateboarding from the comfort of our own couch.




Tony Hawk's Pro Skater HD is the latest in a long line of fine skateboarding experiences in the series, however it may seem familiar to veteran fans. Perhaps even doubly so. That is because it is a mixture of the best bits and pieces from the first two titles in the series, remade for modern audiences on the Unreal 3 engine. Now I'll be brutally honest, as it was released the PC version was a buggy piece of crap, but with the recent patch everything has been smoothed over nicely. The graphics absolutely pop with massive amounts of detail never before seen in the genre, and a silky smooth framerate to back it up. On the gameplay front, the mechanics have been tweaked to perfection with the controls being spot on when compared to previous entries. Though the game is perfectly serviceable with a keyboard, for the proper experience you're gonna need a gamepad.




If you've never played a Tony Hawk game before, here's how it works. You have two minutes to meet as many goals as you can, whether it is collecting all the cash in a level, beating the high score, collecting the letters of the word SKATE, and so on. Each level also has it's own unique fetch quest, and a series of specifically themed goals. Once you complete the required amount of objectives, the next level is unlocked for play, and the process begins anew. The cash you receive for completing the objectives can be spent on new boards in the skate shop, or to buy stat points for your skater.




All in all, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater HD is a worthy addition to the series, and if you've never played a Tony Hawk game before there's never been a better place to start. The only real negative I could find was the lack of musical customization, as the custom soundtrack options of the past are long since gone. The newer additions to the soundtrack are also not quite up to par with the rest of the classic tracks. However the good outweighs the bad, and I feel more than comfortable recommending the game at it's current price, especially considering how smooth it runs on the pc. So break out your kneepads and get on over to Steam and check it out now!

Serious Sam 3 BFE (XBLA) Review

Serious Sam 3 BFE (XBLA)
Developed By: Croteam
Published By: Devolver Digital
Date of Release: October 17, 2012
Price: 1200 MSP





All of Sam's usual foes are here from the cyclopian Gnaar to the Scythian Witch-Harpy, all gloriously rendered on the Serious Engine 3.5 with style to spare! Also returning are signature weapons such as the rocket launcher, double barrel shotgun, and the chaingun, with piles of new toys added in the mix to help you unleash Armageddon on your enemies.

The gameplay experience is literally ripped out of the 90's with sprawling levels to explore, plenty of enemies to kill, and no one holding your hand and showing you where to go. SS3:BFE is a big-boy's FPS, so time to ditch the diapers and man up! Another thing: you can SAVE YOUR GAME. The usual autosave system is present, however you can actually open the menu and choose "Save Game". It's a mystical and advanced technique thought lost in days of checkpoints and consolization, but SS3:BFE pulls it off perfectly!


Of course no Serious Sam experience would be complete without a crapton of extras, and SS3:BFE delivers! Right off the bat you have a lengthy single player campaign, local splitscreen co-op and deathmatch, online co-op and deathmatch, AND survival mode. Add to that a metric crapton of tweakability, where graphic sound and control settings can be edited to your every whim. You can even swap out the blood and gibs for nommy showers of candy! Yum!

I can honestly say that Serious Sam 3: BFE is the best FPS experience I have had in years, and that's saying quite a bit, what with the recent releases of RAGE and Duke Nukem Forever and Bulletstorm. If your on the fence, take my advice and buy it. Buy 3 copies! Fork Parker will thank you!

Doom 3 BFG Edition Review

Doom 3 BEG Edition
Developed By: id Software
Published By: Bethesda Softworks
Date of Release: October 16, 2012
Price: $29.99(PC)/$39.99(Xbox 360/PS3)

Doom 3... Has it really been 7 years since it ripped its way into the PC gaming world? I remember it like it was yesterday. Now, my first experience with Doom 3 was less than ideal. A family friend had bought the game to play herself, but found it to be a bit too frightening. So the brand new barely played copy of Doom 3 was passed on to me, and I proceeded to try and play through it on my measly Athlon XP with 256mb of ram and a 128mb GeForce FX5200. At 640x480 and low settings I barely got 20fps, but it still kept me on the edge of my seat. As time went by I managed to get my hands on some better hardware, and was able to experience Doom 3 the way it was meant to be played.




Of course now that we've hit the 20th anniversary of the Doom franchise, computers and game consoles are a bit more advanced. Sure, there have been many ports of the various Doom games to consoles, but nearly all of them have disappointed in one way or another. However with Doom 3 BFG Edition, things have changed. Not only do you get the full uncut Doom 3 and its expansion pack Resurrection of Evil, you also get pixel-perfect ports of The Ultimate Doom, and Doom II with its newly added episode No Rest For the Living, as well as a new episode for Doom 3! With Doom 3, none of the graphical detail or level architecture had to be sacrificed this time around (unlike the chopped to pieces ports for the original Xbox).




In fact, the original rendering system has been improved from the ground up with better lighting, and silky smooth constant 60 fps gameplay on normal monitors or televisions, and 120fps support for the 3d monitors and Head Mounted Displays that support it! The gameplay itself has also been streamlined slightly with a new armor-mounted flashlight which eliminates the need to choose between being able to see and being able to frag the hordes of hellspawn that stand in your way. All of the classic weapons are still available to find along the way, from the reliable shotgun to the always-classic BFG 9000. (That's Big F*cking Gun for those who don't know!)




When you get back to the original Doom games, nothing has really changed other than the addition of achievements/trophies, however if there had been any tinkering with them it just wouldn't have felt right. At first glance The Ultimate Doom and Doom II may seem a simple affair by today's standards, with their deceptively simple gameplay. However looks can be deceiving, as the classic Doom titles are known for their twisted mazelike corridors. Gamers who are used to the linear games of today could find themselves lost for hours in a level, searching for the next keycard. In the era that Doom was released the length of a game was provided by actual gameplay, and not by artificially padding the experience with cutscenes every 3 seconds.




With the BFG releases of The Ultimate Doom and Doom II, every little detail from the wonderfully pixellated sprite graphics, pumping MIDI buttrock soundtrack, and all around ass-kicking style of the originals have been preserved perfectly. The controls are superbly mapped out to take advantage of the dual analogs on the consoles, which makes circle-strafing a breeze. The PC versions have also been upgraded with full WASD controls as well as mouse turning. These are is truly excellent ports of a pair of genre-defining games, and if you have never played these titles in their original forms you owe it to yourself as an FPS fan to try them out.




Doom 3 BFG Edition is definitely an epic package, and should be considered the del-facto collection of all things Doom that id Software has crafted over the years. Some fans may bemoan the lack of Final Doom and The Master Levels, however they were never actually developed by id themselves, they were fan works compiled and published officially. No matter if you are a console gamer or a PC gamer, you should seriously pick up this package. It is the definitive way to experience the Doom saga, and an all around good value. Hopefully if Doom 3 BFG Edition is a success then we'll see id and Bethesda release a similar compilation for their other famous series, Quake. But for now kick back, dig out your BFG, and keep on fraggin!

Serious Sam 3: Jewel of The Nile (DLC) Review

Serious Sam 3: Jewel of The Nile (DLC)
Developed By: Croteam
Published By: Devolver Digital
Sales are in Support of: Fork Parker's Mustache Implant
Date of Release: October 16, 2012
Price: $9.99

Well here we are in October of 2012, just a month shy of the massively kick-asstastic Serious Sam 3:BFE's first anniversary. And what a kicking rad ride it has been, what with saving the world, kicking massive amounts of Mental Minion ass, fragging the bajeezus out of Ugh-Zan IV, and turning on all those generators to activate the Timelock. However things are not always quite as they seem, and when we rejoin our hero this time it seems he has quite a bit of unfinished business. Serious Business.




As it turns out in the first few minutes of Serious Sam 3: Jewel of The Nile, there is a failsafe override keeping the Timelock from fully activating. So it of course falls to our titular hero to once again save the day, all while continuing to paint the sandy canvas of Egypt red with his enemies blood. This DLC spans a total of 3 massive levels, and stars quite a few weapons that were only available as hidden secrets in the main campaign. Sam also gets a sweet fireaxe now instead of his old sledgehammer, so even if you run out of ammo you can still keep feeding the corpsepile.




Alltogether it took me a solid 3 hours to plow through the new missions, however I didn't poke around too much to look for secrets. Depending on your playstyle it could take you upwards of 4-5 hours if you stop to smell the roses. That's in solo play however, I'm sure a co-op team could storm the gates in record time, but where's the goddamn fun if you rush it? With Jewel of The Nile you have some awesomely brutal mobs of enemies to contend with, decently devious puzzles to solve, and plenty of sweet goodies to collect. Add a stack of new achievements into the mix, and this DLC shapes up to be well worth your ten bucks. So what are you waiting for? Time to get serious again!

The Elder Scrolls V: Hearthfire Review

The Elder Scrolls V: Hearthfire
Developed By: Bethesda Softworks
Published By: Zenimax
Date of Release: October 4, 2012
Price: $4.99

Ahh Skyrim... Just as I tire of trekking the endless expanses of valleys and fjords, something comes along to suck me back in to experience it's wonders again. Last time it was the massive addon pack known as Dawnguard, however this time the fare is somewhat more simplistic. That's not to say its any less majestic however, it's just on a more subtle scale this time. The expansion that I refer to is Hearthfire, and with it any hardy wanderer can build a home, and without even having to take an arrow to the knee in the process!




When I first heard about Hearthfire's homebuilding, my mind immediately turned to visions of The Sims and Minecraft in terms of construction systems. However I was pleasantly surprised to find that Hearthfire eschews any overcomplicated methods of homesteading and merely requires that you gather the supplies to build your home. After smithing any requisite hardware such as nails and hinges all you need do is choose from the blueprints what you need built, and the game handles the rest. Then it is a simple matter of furnishing your domicile with any odds and ends that you require to make your house a home. Any errands that you don't want to do yourself will be happily seen to by your steward.




I only met with a few hiccups during my experiences with Hearthfire, such as my steward suddenly flailing about like a banshee and then glitching through the wall, no amount of reloading saves could get her back out. Sadly I had to strike at her arm until she perished, and I could drag her lifeless carcass out from the space between worlds. I gave her a funeral in the lake below my manor, using my dragonfire shout to transform her canoe into a fitting pyre. I then journeyed back to Whiterun, and appointed Lydia as my new steward. Unfortunately all she seems to do is laze about the house snoozing on any available bed. Ahh well, at least she's not trashing the place in a physics-fueled maelstrom. Although I was not able to figure out how to adopt children, I can honestly say that my experiences in Hearthfire are well worth the meager asking price. I can wholeheartedly recommend this expansion to anyone who has wanted a customizable place to call their home.

Borderlands 2 Review

Borderlands 2 (PC)
Developed By: Gearbox Software
Published By: 2k Games
Date of Release: September 18, 2012
Price: $59.99

In the year 2009, the world was buried under the weight of a million bazillion guns. Gearbox Software released Borderlands, and with its randomizing loot system and RPG underpinnings, the world of first person shooters would never be the same again. And now in present day 2012, history seems poised to repeat itself. Borderlands 2 has blasted it's way onto the scene, with enough new guns to sink a grand armada of Titanics. Not to mention the biggest douchebag villain the gaming world has ever seen. It's time to crack open a can of whoopass and get this party rolling. Rolling in shell casings that is.




Now in my opinion the biggest flaw about Borderlands on the PC was the fact that it suffered from a severe case of consolitis. It had a tunnel-vision inducing low FOV (Field of View), and the mouse smoothing was no friend to gamers either. Mods eventually fixed these shortcomings, however it was never a perfect fix. Gearbox listened to the fans though, and Borderlands 2 is exactly how they put it themselves, a love letter to PC gamers. From the near-obscene level of graphical detail options, to the FOV slider right in the menu, they have done the art of PC game making justice. And this is before you even get in to play the freakin game!




Now I'm sure most of you out there have already read up on the different characters in borderlands 2 and have a good understanding of how they play out, with the exception of Salvador the Gunzetrker they are pretty similar to the heroes of the first game. In my opinion Salvador is the star of the show here, with his ability to kick massive ass by dual wielding any two guns you have in your possession. Wanna use a pair of shotguns that shoot rockets? Smoke 'em if you got 'em! Got a pistol and a shotgun? Rock em! Any combo of guns that crosses your mind is the order of the day. Just be sure to save some ammo to shove up Handsome Jack's nose. You know he'd do the same for you.




If you're feelin lonely trudging across Pandora on your own, don't despair. The amazing four-player co-op experience of the original game is back, but this time hosted on Steamworks servers. This means that there's a much smoother experience to be had compared to the Gamespy based original. And once you're done tearing Hyperion a new one, there's no reason to despair! A total of four DLC packs have been planned, and you can pick them all up at a discount now by buying the season pass! Be on the lookout for the Mechromancer character next month as well, she drops in on the 16th! Now, I highly doubt that my opinions are gonna change the minds of anyone out there, because any Borderlands fan worth their pile of ammo will have pre-ordered already to get the extra goodies. But if you're still on the fence, let me just say that Borderlands 2 is damn well worth your money.

Double Dragon Neon Review

Double Dragon Neon
Developed By: WayForward
Published By: Majesco
Date of Release: September 11, 2012
Price: $9.99

Ahh, the 80's. The golden era of pop culture. It brought us many wonderful things such as the NES, Ray-Bans, Transformers, and bigass hair. It also brought us an arcade classic, a 2-player beat-em-up known as Double Dragon. It got everything right, from smashing gameplay to perfectly executed co-op mayhem. And now WayForward has stepped out of the DeLorean to hand us their throwback to the past: Double Dragon Neon. This magnificent tour-de-force blows the 80's head off with a rocket launcher, builds a cyborg out of it's corpse, and then puts said cyborg on a surfboard to the future to kick modern gaming convention in the cojones. All while listening to hair metal on a boombox. It has been a long time since I have seen a game that has this level of insanity taking itself with a gospel level of seriousness.



And what would Double Dragon be without the twin heroes, Billy and Jimmy Lee? WayForward has brought the original dudebros to life with amazingly detailed cel-shaded models. All the classic enemies are here, from the lowly street thug cannon fodder, leather-clad whip-cracking bondage babes, and the infamous Abobo. Add to that the main villian, Skullmageddon, who could easily be described as a skeletal version of The Shredder from TMNT. That is if The Shredder was batsh*t insane and on LSD. This guy is pure evil though, and he makes no bones about trying to pun you to death. On the music front, Jake Kaufman (AKA Virt) has brought the sound of the 80's back to life with a massively awesome mixture of vocal pop and hard rockin hits. The complete soundtrack is downloadable at his Bandcamp page for the low low price of NADA, so check it out!



The gameplay in Double Dragon Neon is largely unchanged from the original game, however there are a few new addons that change things up considerably. As you make your way through the game, defeated enemies will drop mixtapes. These audio treats come in two flavors, upgrade tapes that add to your stats, and Sōsetsuken tapes that add to your special attacks. Be sure to grab as many as you can, because you can stack each tape to further upgrade your stats and moves! The special attacks are quite varied, ranging from a classic cyclone kick to a hadouken-inspired fireball. Be sure to listen to each mixtape as well, the lyrics are quite funny.



I started out playing Double Dragon Neon expecting to play a decent remake of a beloved game. And what I got was an experience that far exceeded my expectations as WayForward gently ripped the 80's a new caboodle, and yanked this glorious beast out of the void. I honestly cannot find a single thing to complain about with this game, other than the lack of online co-op, which WayForward has promised to patch in. So if you are pining for the days of big music, bad puns, and beating the ever-loving crap out of big dudes named Abobo, Double Dragon Neon will NOT disappoint. And it's only gonna take up $10 of your hairspray budget!

They Bleed Pixels Review

They Bleed Pixels
Developed By: Spooky Squid Games
Date of Release: August 29, 2012
Price: $9.99

I am generally a calm person. I approach life's challenges with poise and restraint, taking time to casually find my way through each moment. However sometimes I come across a game that just makes me lose my f*****g s**t. In the past, it was the many iterations of Ninja Gaiden that brought about the doom of many a controller. And then there was Super Meat Boy, an exercise in frustration that I still have not fully conquered to this day. And now in the summer of 2012 I have met my new nemesis, They Bleed Pixels. And oh, what an adorable harbinger of destruction she is.



So imagine if you will a gloriously challenging platformer that demands exact finesse in the vein of the Nintendo-hard games of yore, complete with retro graphics, tight controls, and a rockin chiptune-inspired soundtrack (by DJ Finish Him no less!). That is They Bleed Pixels in a grotesquely Lovecraftian nutshell. When the young heroine is sent to a reform school she uncovers a necronomicon-esque book that fills her dreams with nightmarish horror as she is transformed into an eldritch crab-clawed zombie warrior who must cleanse the world of the undead.



All that side, what really sets They Bleed Pixels out from the crowd is the well thought out control system. Using a standard Xbox360 controller is the best way to experience the carnage, with it's tightly tuned context-sensitive actions that will keep the combos (and the blood) flying. Another nice touch is the way the save system works. By building up your combo chains and collection blood orbs, you gain energy to leave behind a "save sigil". As long as you find a safe spot with no traps or monsters nearby, you can place one almost anywhere, and whenever you die you will continue from it.



All in all the only downside to They Bleed Pixels it is that once the game is over, there's really no way to extend the fun. Hopefully Spooky Squid will someday release a level editor, as I'm sure that fans would enjoy trying their hand-- err claw, at making their own masterpieces of mayhem. Don't get me wrong though, They Bleed Pixels is still a complete experience, and very well polished at that. Fans of the genre should definitely pick it up ASAP.

The Elder Scrolls V: Dawnguard Review

The Elder Scrolls V: Dawnguard
Developed by: Bethesda Game Studios
Published by: Bethesda Softworks
Date of Release: August 2, 2012
Price: $19.99 (Steam)

Back in November of 2011 when The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim launched, it did so to great critical acclaim. Despite a few bugs here and there, it was quite a favorable experience and left many fans wanting more. Well the wait is over, the first expansion for Skyrim is here! Titled Dawnguard, it chronicles the long-fought struggle between mankind and the oh so recently over-popular children of the night: vampires. Though you may cringe in fear of angsty teen supernatural romance, this is an epic tale worthy of the Elder Scrolls name, not Twilight. These vampires do NOT sparkle.




When I first started playing Skyrim again after installing Dawnguard I took an hour or so to tie up some loose ends and finish some of the extra quests in my journal. I heard rumors of vampires and the return of the Dawnguard, however i decided to take my time and see to my own matters first. I was NOT prepared for a full-fledged vampire assault on my own hometown of Whiterun, (which sadly left Adrianne Avenicci dead). Choking back tears as the courier delivered my inheritance, I vowed to see this undead scourge wiped from the land.




I would imagine that the motives for each player's journey through Dawnguard will differ in how they first encounter the vampiric scourge, and whether they wish to side with them, or fight them. I for one immediately sought out the fortress of the dawnguard, and was quick to join their ranks. I really missed the antics of my glitchy npc blacksmith neighbor, and those undead bastards were gonna pay for her death.




However enough about me, let's talk upgrades! Three new blessings, four new shouts, and nine new spells! You want more friends and foes? Try 80 new NPC characters split between factions! Still not enough? Fine, have a werewolf skill tree, and the ability ro transform into a vampire lord! But wait, there's more! New areas to discover! 40 more quests! Crossbows! Sexy undead princesses! And ABSOLUTELY NO EMO TEENAGE VAMPIRES WHO SPARKLE IN THE SUN! You know we can't keep doing this all day folks, so place your order now! Just one easy payment of $19.99, OR your eternal soul. All major credit cards and PayPal accepted!

Dust: An Elysian Tail Review

Dust: An Elysian Tail
Developed By: Humble Hearts
Published By: Microsoft Game Studios
Date of Release: August 15, 2012
Price: 1200 MSP

As I sit here after finishing Dust: An Elysian Tail, I find myself having to fight back tears while thinking of the revelation-packed ending. It is not often that a game presents such a profound and gripping narrative, in this world of rushed to market cookie-cutter shooters and overblown RPGS. And yet here is a game, built in less than four years by a single driven individual. Dean "Noogy" Dodrill himself handled the programming, visuals, writing and animation, and only reached out for help with the music and voiceovers. And yet this seemingly simple metroidvania-style XBLA title manages to surpass the production values of nearly any recent big budget blockbuster that can be named.



The gameplay in Dust is fast paced and compelling, with a combat system that takes the best parts of games like Castlevania SOTN and Devil May Cry. As in DMC, you can rack up insane combos for extra experience points (my personal best was just over 3500 hits). Upgradable abilities earned along the way keeps everything feeling fresh, and will open the way to previously inaccessible areas, a la Metroid. A continuously updating automap will keep you from ever getting lost in the game's vast world.



Dust certainly has a lot of stuff to do, with a number of sidequests nearly bordering on the excessive. There are countless secrets to be found, so be sure to explore every nook and cranny for destructible walls. If nothing else you will be rewarded with a Mysterious Wall Chicken. Noogy definitely packed the game to the brim with tributes to many classic games, both old and new (to get the "wall chicken" joke one simply needs to play Castlevania). Add to all that a blueprint-based crafting system, and Dust's adventure just keeps getting deeper and deeper.



When it comes down to the quality of the narrative and voice acting, Dust: An Elysian Tail is definitely no slouch. It is near impossible not to fall in love with the varied cast of characters and their often wacky hijinks (Dust's companion Fidget is one of the most endearing characters I have seen in years, and does well to break the "Navi" stereotype). That's not to say the whole game is a barrel of laughs, it gets incredibly serious towards the end with a major plot twist that will leave player's heads spinning. With an epic plotline that will last the average player at least 8 hours and with sidequests out the wazoo, players will definitely get their 1200 MSP worth with this game. Dust: An Elysian Tail is simply too good to pass up!

Wizorb PS minis Review

Wizorb (PS minis)
Developed By: Tribute Games
Published By: Beatshapers
Date of Release: July 24, 2012
Price: $3.99

Back in the good old days of arcade gaming there was one interesting game that stood out from the crowd, with its colorful graphics, addictive gameplay, and unique control style provided by a modest spinning knob. This blockbuster (pun intended) was known as Arkanoid. Now in the year 2012 we have a game that takes a similar approach to the genre gameplay wise, but throws everything else out the window and reinvents itself as something amazing.



Wizorb is an epic fantasy adventure seemingly haling from the golden years of gaming, however with a major twist. Rather than charge you with the task of smiting your foes through the normal means of combat, say through turn based or action gameplay, Wizorb first checks if you have the balls to take on the challenge. Cyrus, the wizardly main character, transforms himself into a mystical orb and proceeds to use his staff as a paddle to knock him into his foes. Aside from your enemies, you can also break bricks, chests, barrels, and other items strewn through the playfield, with plenty of powerups to collect as a reward.



There are also various spells at your disposal which you should master if you wish to win the day. You can for instance launch fireballs, or use a gust of wind to change the direction of your orb. If you use your magic sparingly and at the right time, you can drastically alter the flow of the game. Wizorb definitely takes a fair bit more thinking to overcome it's challenges than the games that inspired it.



With all these interesting additions to the genre, and wonderful pixel art by Paul Robertson, Wizorb is truely a wonderful experience which can be enjoyed by veterans and newcomers to the genre alike. A $3.99 asking price also sweetens the deal, considering you get 5 worlds, 60 levels, plenty of items to buy with your gold, and EPIC boss fights. The only minor issues in my opinion is that when it comes right down to it, an analog stick and D-pad just aren't as accurate as a mouse for playing this game, and there is some frequent slowdown that was not present in the PC version. But at any rate, Wizorb is is still a must buy for anyone who ever enjoyed breaking blocks with their balls.

Death Rally Review

Death Rally (Steam)
Developed By: Mountain Sheep Inc., Cornfox & Brothers Ltd.
Published By: Remedy Entertainment
Date of Release: August 3, 2012
Price: $9.99

Back in September of 1996 Remedy Entertainment took the PC racing world by storm with their smash hit destruction derby styled racer Death Rally. Featuring an overhead view similar to games such as Micro Machines and RC Pro AM, this balls-to-the-wall racer also had intense combat mechanics previously unseen in the genre. Fans were pleased by the high-octane carnage they were able to wreak with their gloriously upgradable death machines. Now fast forward to the present day. Hot on the heels of an impressive iOS remake, Remedy Entertainment has released a majorly overhauled version of Death Rally on Steam with all the bells and whistles you would expect from a PC title!



The first thing that stands out form the original Death Rally is the revamped control scheme. I'm not one to normally toss about tired and cliche terms such as "intuitive control", however Death Rally fits that description perfectly. Rather than having a gas button, and steering with the stick/keys, your car moves in the direction you press/hold on the stick. Between the keyboard and my Xbox 360 pad, I preferred the pad. Any joystick you connect to your PC will do however. The game also takes care of firing your primary weapon, leaving you free to handle the steering, and the decision of when to fire your secondary weapons, boost, or drop mines. At first you may feel like you have been robbed of a certain degree of interaction, however you are going to need every bit of concentration you can muster. So truth be told the new control scheme is a definite blessing.



Of course it wouldn't be Death Rally without customization, would it? Thankfully Remedy has seen to it that the full stable of customizable powerhouses have returned from the classic title, with a few nice surprises thrown in for good measure. Just as in the classic Death Rally your hard earned prize money can be used for repairs, and to upgrade your weapons, armor, speed, and more. As you race along the tracks be sure to pick up upgrade parts and tokens to unlock new tracks. Speaking of tracks, most of the original tracks make an appearance, so if you've memorized those twists and turns then you have an advantage right out of the gate. The new content included is definitely up to the quality of the original game, and doesn't feel tacked on at all.



The original Death Rally was famous for it's solid multiplayer, despite being limited to IPX networking. Of course as the remake is a modern title, the clunky network interface has been abolished, and the internet reigns supreme! All the classic gametypes are here such as racing and deathmatch, so get ready to reach out and frag someone. Online leaderboards will soon be added, so you will be able to try and beat your friends scores, while bragging about your own. With all these additions, not to mention the upgraded visuals and soundtrack, Death Rally really stands above all recent vehicular combat games. It definitely is worth buying at it's current price of $9.99.

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater HD Review

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater HD
Developed By: Robomodo
Published By: Activision
Date of Release: July 18, 2012
Price: 1200 MSP

Since the dawn of time man has always felt the need to set forth and prove himself by doing increasingly stupid things. Surfing. Wakeboarding. Parasailing. Snowboarding. Hotdog Eating Contests. All of these increasingly dangerous stunts lead up to one thing: Professional Skateboarding. Thanks to this amazing sport anyone out there can hop on a board and make an arse of themselves, sometimes even earning a Darwin Award in the process. However thanks to Tony Hawk and his video game series Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, those of us with a strong aversion to getting maimed or dying can enjoy the thrills and spills of skateboarding from the comfort of our own couch.




Tony Hawk's Pro Skater HD is the latest in a long line of fine skateboarding experiences in the series, however it may seem familiar to veteran fans. Perhaps even doubly so. That is because it is a mixture of the best bits and pieces from the first two titles in the series, remade for modern audiences on the Unreal 3 engine. The gameplay mechanics have been tweaked to perfection with the controls being spot on compared to previous enrtries, and the addition of an intense new multiplayer survival mode (where you have to continuously perform tricks, lest your head explode) evens out the experience. The only thing sadly missing is the ability to customize the ingame soundtrack, sadly the option to even change the current track is missing. However you DO have the option to play your own music through the Xbox 360 dash, so all is not lost.




If you've never played a Tony Hawk game before, here's how it works. You have two minutes to meet as many goals as you can, whether it is collecting all the cash in a level, beating the high score, collecting the letters of the word SKATE, and so on. Each level also has it's own unique fetch quest, and a series of specifically themed goals. Once you complete the required amount of objectives, the next level is unlocked for play, and the process begins anew. The cash you receive for completing the objectives can be spent on new boards in the skate shop, or to buy stat points for your skater. Speaking of skaters, the ability to create a custom skater has been replaced in this version with the ability to play as your Avatar, which IMO is pretty freaking cool. Feel free to go wild with your attire, as it all is perfectly rendered ingame.




All in all, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater HD is a worthy addition to the series, and if you've never played a Tony Hawk game before there's never been a better place to start. The only real negatives I could find were that the framerate sometimes dips during particularly intense moments (though not as horribly as in the demo, it was a real lagfest!), and the lack of musical customization. The newer additions to the soundtrack are also not quite up to par with the rest of the classic tracks. However the good outweighs the bad, and I feel more than comfortable recommending the game at it's current price. The decent multiplayer and ability to play as your outlandishly outfitted Avatar definitely adds to the fun!

Divine Divinity Steam Review

Divine Divinity (Steam)
Developed and Published By: Larian Studios
Date of Release: July 5, 2012
Price: $5.99

It would seem to be that as of late, classic RPGS are making a comeback. The classic Avernum has seen a revival as Escape From the Pit, and RUNE has been exhumed from it's grave and polished up to run on modern PCs. So it should come as no surprise that a classic gem such as the redundantly titled Divine Divinity has been given new life. Retooled to run on 32 and 64 bit systems alike, on it's 10th anniversary Divine Divinity has been given a new lease on life with an impressive host of bugfixes, and support for widescreen HD resolutions. The ability to play in higher resolutions definitely brings attention to the massive detail present in the graphical assets, quite belying the fact that the game is a decade old.




What sort of game IS Divine Divinity, you might ask? Imagine, dear reader, if Ultima VII and Diablo II were to have a lovechild, who then was brought up lovingly by Baldur's Gate. This game borrows heavily from the best parts of the finest examples of the genre, and yet manages to not be a walking cliche in the process. Perhaps the best part of Divine Divinity is the fact that the game allows you to just kick back and do your own thing, rather than forcing you down a linear path and beating you about the head with a +5 Cricket Bat of Bludgeoning when you try to stray from it.




When beginning your adventure in Divine Divinity you get to choose from 3 character builds, Warrior, wizard and Survivor(essentially a rogue). Your choice of character merely sets your appearance and starting skillset however. You are free to learn skills from any class as your progress, once again showing the open-endedness of the game system. Character progression is completely up to the player. The point and click combat is near-identical to Diablo II, with the added benefit of automatic targeting, which can take some of the frustration out of battles. As for the game's lore, Divine Divinity has a masterfully woven tale to back it's gameplay, filled with epic storytelling, and often over the top humor. The voice acting in particular is a tad overacted, which adds a lot to the game's charm.




I'm going to be brutally honest here, Diablo III was heralded to be the greatest RPG to ever grace the genre, a classic for modern times. And yet it was an utter disappointment in every way possible, from the clunky server issues to the rampant hacking of player accounts. And yet here is Divine Divinity, managine to upstage the big-budget Diablo III even at 10 years old. For less than a Big Mac combo you can hop on Steam and download an adventure that will keep you occupied for hours while Diablo III molders forgotten in the corner. It just goes to show that they really knew how to make games back in the day, before devs turned their attention to how they can screw over paying customers with so called "copy protection". If you want a well-crafted adventure that will keep you clicking into the wee hours of the morning while running on even the most anemic netbook, then you should pick up Divine Divinity. Anyone who is an RPG fan whether casual or hardcore owes it to themselves to experience this fine piece of art.

Unchained Blades Review

Unchained Blades (PSP)
Developed By: FuRyu
Localized and Published By: XSEED
Date of Release: June 26, 2012
Price: $29.99

Now to those those of you who have been reading my reviews for a while now, it is definitely no secret that I am quite fond of the oldschool first-person dungeon crawler genre. From Grimrock to Wizardry, how can you go wrong? Luckily the PSP and the 3DS now have their own worthwhile entry into the genre, Unchained Blades!




From the moment I set eyes on Unchained Blade's anime intro, I was hooked. The art direction in this game rivals that of any other JRPG I have played lately, even surpassing the detail in games such as Tales of Vesperia. Gorgeous hand-drawn artwork permeates every facet of this game, and expressive character portraits abound. A good amount of the main dialog is voiced, and the soundtrack is a real treat for the ears.
All of this serves to enrich the already epic story, filled with masterfully woven plot twists and character development.




As for gameplay, typical exploration is the name of the game for the most part. The battle system is where things get kicked up a notch. Imagine a Final Fantasy turn based system mixed with the fluid turn management of the Grandia series, and the ability to take on 3 screens worth of enemies at a time thrown in for extra measure. Not only that, but each character in your party has up to four captured monsters supporting them. So just imagine the delicious chaos a 20-character party can unleash upon 3 screens packed full of monsters!




The quality of Unchained Blades should be no surprise considering the all-star dev team who built it. Toshio Akashi of Lunar fame directed the whole project, with Grandia's Takashi Hino taking up the scenario design reins. The bulk of the soundtrack was written by Tsutomo Narita, and Final Fantasy veteran Nubuo Uematsu provided the main themes. Taking all of this into account it is no wonder that Unchained Blades is such a masterpiece. In my humble opinion it should grace the library of PSP gamers everywhere. The experience is certainly worth the price of admission!

Corpse Party Review

Corpse Party PSP
Developed By: Team GrisGris
Localized and Published by: XSEED
Date of Release: November 22, 2011
Price: $19.99

The visual novel genre. Very rarely do we see this majestic creature outside it's natural habitat of Japan. When we do however it is often quite a sight to behold, pairing engrossing storytelling with a rich audiovisual experience. Today's subject is one such rare creature, and though it's subject matter is not for the faint of heart, it will definitely satisfy those with a penchant for the macabre. Ladies and Gentlemen, for your approval I offer Corpse Party.




Corpse Party started out as a PC-98 game, which was then ported to PC as Corpse Party Blood Covered. It was then remade for the PSP as Corpse party Repeated Fear, which was localized by XSEED as simply Corpse Party, essentially making it a remake of a remake. In the process it gained an incredible upgrade in artwork fidelity, and some amazingly well-done voicework. Add to that the pulse-pounding score and the masterfully crafted story, and you have an edge-of-your seat experience that will grip you until the very end.




I don't want to spoil a single bit of the story for Corpse Party as it is best experienced first hand, but I will be clear on one fact: the game WILL take you in with the endearing characters, and then beat you about the head mercilessly with their tragic demise. That is not to say that it reaches the level of fan abuse, but I honestly had a few teary moments during my playthrough. Those who have a tendency to develop extreme attachments to characters may want to proceed with caution.




If you've read this far and you still think that Corpse Party sounds like a great experience, then let me tell you that you are correct. It is the perfect game for horror buffs and visual novel fans alike, and the decidedly Japanese setting is a refreshing change from the average cookie cutter thriller. Corpse party is in my humble opinion well worth the $20 price tag, and the replayability is excellent due to the massive number of endings that are available to those who look for them.

Tomba! Review

Tomba! (PSN)
Developed By: Whoopee Camp
Published By: MonkeyPaw Games
Date of Release: June 19, 2012
Price: $9.99

So there you are one day minding your own business and munching on some roast boar when an army of evil pigs overrun your country, steal your precious gold armband that your grandfather left to you, and mutate the flora and fauna into grotesque freaks of nature. The flowers now have a nasty bite, and farting butts grow from every vine! Sinister swine are on the rampage, looting and pillaging everything they can! What's a pink-haired cave dude to do? Looks like it's time to kick some porcine behind!




A series of well-drawn anime cutscenes set up the story for this grand adventure, and introduce our titular hero and his world's plight. The quality of the graphics are top notch, with fluid animation and eye-catching colors. The soundtrack is also wonderful with peppy upbeat tunes that keep from becoming repetitive no matter how many times you hear them. The gameplay is just as amazing, with a perfect blend of tricky platforming and metroidvania-style exploration.




In Tomba! your main weapon is a morning-star ball & chain type affair called the Blackjack. It knocks most enemies down with one hit leaving them stunned and vulnerable to your pounce attack. You can then fling them at other enemies or the scenery to finish them off. Along the way you will discover other weapons with a variety of uses, and you're definitely gonna need all of them if you want to be bringing home the bacon.



Along the way you'll be testing out your arsenal on a variety of enemies such as vicious pigs, crazed birds, and various nasties in between. The ultimate goal is to find all of the evil pig bags so that you can use them to seal away the seven evil pigs that are terrorizing the world. Defeating your enemies and solving quests will give you Adventure Points(AP) which are used to unlock new abilities and pass obstacles. Be sure to try and take out as many foes as you can together to earn extra points!




With everything that is right about Tomba!, it's quite sad what happened to the developer. Despite its near-universal critical acclaim it never sold well, and after bringing out a sequel Whoopee Camp ran out of funding and closed it's doors. If they had remained in business, one could only imagine what amazing experiences they could have crafted on today's hardware. Regardless, Tomba is a must buy for those who want to pig out on adventure, so pick it up today and hopefully we'll see the sequel on the PSN soon!

Escape Goat Review

Escape Goat
Developed and Published by: Magical Time Bean
Date of Release: June 14, 2012
Price: $4.99

You wake up deep underground, locked in a dank cell in the Prison of Agnus. You slowly gather your strength and find your footing, and start to explore your new surroundings. As your eyes adjust to the dim light you have time to reflect on what has happened in the last few hours. Your freedom has been stripped from you, and you have been imprisoned on false charges of witchcraft. Also, you are a goat.



In the latest puzzling adventure from Soulcaster I & II dev Magical Time Bean, you play as a purple goat who is hellbent on escaping from the Prison of Agnus. It's not going to be easy, as each room is a devilishly devised series of traps designed to make curry of you. Luckily you have a mousey buddy on your side who can help you out by squeezing through small spaces and even using a spell to switch places with you!



The challenge level in Escape Goat starts out easy enough for beginners, but quickly ramps up to a frenetic level. Thankfully the game allows you infinite lives, and you will definitely need them as this is a game built on trial and error as you find the best way through each puzzle. With 100 levels to play though, Escape Goat will keep you going for quite a while.



Of course if you ever decide that you want more after you finish the game, a full-featured level editor is also included which will let players craft their own insidious designs. Add that to the charming retro pixel graphics and the mind-blowing soundtrack, and Escape Goat is worth far more than the paltry sum that you have to play for it. You definitely won't regret picking it up.