3D Realms Anthology Review

3D Realms Anthology
Developed By: 3D Realms
Published By: 3D Realms
Date of Release: October 23, 3014
Price: $39.99

The year was 1991. The place, planet earth. PC gaming was gaining popularity with the advent of the affordable home computer, and things were good. However gaming consoles such as the Nintendo Entertainment System were starting to steal the PC's fire with smooth scrolling platform games, the likes of which had never been seen elsewhere. Enter Apogee Software! Their smash hit Duke Nukem propelled them to the front of the PC gaming scene, and there they would stay for years to come, cranking out hit after hit. And then came the revolution. The Renaissance. In January of 1996 Apogee Software re-branded themselves as 3D Realms, and launched what would be one of the greatest PC games ever made, Duke Nukem 3D. It took the gaming world by storm, leading to ports, remakes, addons... life was good. But not all good things can last. In the process of trying to make a sequel to rival the success to Duke Nukem 3D, 3D Realms ended up putting itself out of business due to delays and unfortunate choices. The King was dead.

Fast forward a decade or so. The year is 2013. It is the future. A savvy group of game developers band together under the name Interceptor Entertainment, and crank out a wickedly badass reboot to the Apogee/3D Realms classic Rise of The Triad. Fresh off the success of RoTT 2013, they embark on a bold new venture: the resurrection of 3D Realms. The Date is October 23, 2014. It is also the future. 3D Realms is reborn anew, and with it's glorious rebirth comes the 3D Realms Anthology, an extraordinarily unprecedented collection of games spanning the history of the company. All the titles that made a name for Apogee/3D Realms are present here in full pixel perfect glory, retooled to work on modern machines with controller support to boot. On top of that you get a "re-rockistrated" soundtrack featuring arranged music from 9 classic games. Woot! Now then, let's take a look at each individual title.

Alien Carnage


This is definitely a good title to start on. Alien Carnage stars the super-macho "Halloween" Harry, an action hero who could easily be mistaken for Duke Nukem's twin brother. Aliens have invaded New York City, and it's up to Harry to strap on his jetpack and flamethrower and kick their asses. With smooth scrolling action, anime-inspired graphics, and a rockin' soundtrack, Alien Carnage is easily one of the top shooters in this pack.

Arctic Adventure


Woo, this is a bit of a blast from the past! Arctic Adventure is a barebones (but fun) platformer from back in the days of CGA graphics. That means everything is blue and pink! Plenty of platforming and puzzle solving here, definitely worth checking out.

Bio Menace


Ok, this is more like it! Aliens! Guns! Grenades! Gore! Dr. Mangle has unleashed a horde of mutants on metro City and it's up to Snake Logan to take him out! With smooth Duke Nukem style platforming and gunplay, this game is a must-play. Some of the enemies may look comically cute, but you can blow them to bloody chunks just the same!

Blake Stone: Aliens of Gold


And here we go into the first FPS of the bundle! Blake Stone: Aliens of Gold is a Wolfenstein-powered tour-de-force that holds up amazingly even against today's shooters. With massively upgraded details like floor and ceiling textures, working vending machines, and NPCs to interact with, Blake Stone takes the Wolf3D formula to the future, literally.

Commander Keen: Invasion of The Vorticons


And now here's something any gamer who grew up in the NES days could appreciate: a candy-colored 2D platforming sci-fi romp of epic proportions. Commander Keen: Invasion of The Vorticons is a love letter to fans of Nintendo's platformers. Keen wasn't actually developed by 3DRealms however, it was published by them back in the Apogee days, having been developed by their friends at id software. Now tell me: how many other series star the son of a war hero, traveling the stars in a homebrew rocket made out of soup cans and fueled by booze purloined from dad's stash?

Commander Keen: Goodbye Galaxy!


If Invasion of The Vorticons was a love letter to Nintendo fans, then Goodbye Galaxy is a full-on marriage proposal. Here we have the classic Keen formula, but with the production values cranked up even further. better graphics, better sound effects, and MUSIC! Billy Blaze (son of Wolfenstein's B.J. Blazcowicz) has his work cut out for him once again as he saves the galaxy from destruction!

Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure


Ok, so far we've had quite a few games centered around blowing the everloving drek out of aliens. How about a game where you play as one? In Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure you play the titular Cosmo as he searches for his missing parents. Cosmo is an adorable green alien with suction cup hands, which add a sweet wall-jumping element to the game. Definitely a good title for the kids.

Crystal Caves


Here's another cute little platformer. In Crystal Caves you lead our hero Mylo Steamwitz on an intergalactic treasure hunt full of traps and puzzles. Everywhere you go in this slick platformer you'll find danger and candy-colored crystals abound!

Death Rally


Hoo boy, here's a speedy one! In death rally you drive a tricked out vehicle ready to dish out the carnage. Can't beat your foes to the finish line? Blow the $#!& out of 'em with your advanced arsenal! You can spend your earnings on new vehicles and upgrades, and trust me you will need them. Duke Nukem makes a cameo appearance in this rad racer, and he's one tough opponent. Fans of top down racing will love this one.

Duke Nukem


And here we are, the debut of everyone's favorite booze-chugging, cigar chomping, 'roid raging original badass videogame action hero. The man who saves our babes. Duke Nukem! In his earlier adventures, Duke was confident enough in his machismo to wear pink and watch Oprah. He was a bit more health conscious as well, as he substituted cola for beer and turkey for steroids. However in his early days Duke still kicked ass, even without his signature shades. Duke Nukem has enough robot blasting action to fill a good action packed weekend.

Duke Nukem II


"I'm Back!"
That one line (voiced by 3D Realms Community Manager Joe Siegler) is enough to sens shivers down the spine of any shooter fan. It seems that Duke's fame got a bit out of control, during an interview on a certain famous talk show he was abducted by aliens who wanted to suck out his brain and use it to power their invasion machine. Spies have been knows to hide a secret cyanide capsule in a tooth in case of capture. But Duke's not gonna lay down and die, he's backing a nuclear molar! After he blows away the door to his cell he arms himself and wreaks hell on the alien army. This right here is the holy grail of 2D platform shmups on the PC. There's also a spot of controversy here, as they have retroactively drawn in Duke's shades, even though in the original he didn't wear any.

Duke Nukem 3D


Here we are. The undisputed crown jewel in the Duke Nukem franchise. Duke Nukem 3D is 3DRealms's magnum opus, and with a stable as impressive as theirs I do NOT say that lightly. Duke Nukem 3D reimagined Duke as the grizzled, profane, ultraviolent, babe-loving, stogie-chomping, alien ass kicking motherf***er we know and love today. Using the best technology available at the time (the mighty Build engine!), Duke Nukem 3D delivered a massive campaign of blockbuster action, with a side order of the finest in world class alien patooties to pummel with Duke's size 13s. Add to that the badassest multiplayer going at the time(Dukematch!), and you have the recipe for success! 3DRealms later added an extra fourth episode in an expansion called the "Plutonium Pack", and soon after sold a complete combo called the "Atomic Edition", which is what we have here in this anthology. Score!

Duke Nukem Manhattan Project


Well, this one's half decent. It's a typical Duke Nukem sidescroller, this time in 2.5D, but it just doesn't have the charm to match the earlier games. That said it's still a damn fine game in and of itself. Just don't go expecting the magic of the earlier titles and you'll do fine.

Hocus Pocus


Ahhh, Hocus Pocus... In this magical adventure you play as a young wizard named... Hocus Pocus. Yes, that is his actual name. Though he may have a slightly cheesy moniker there is nothing else cheesy about this spellbinding romp. The graphics and sound are amazing, and the gameplay is your typical solid platform affair. Definitely worth a go.

Major Stryker


Ahhh, here we go. A nice vertical shmup. Major Striker is a tale of one man fighting against all odds to save the universe. A little bit cliche at this point, but the gameplay makes up for it. Plenty of upgrades for your ship abound, and the pulse-pounding soundtrack keeps you on the edge of your seat. Another quality title, and a worthy addition to any collection.

Math Rescue


Well, there's not much to say about this one. It;s an edutainment platformer filled with math questions, geared towards the kiddies. It's ok in small doses if you're utterly bored, but definitely not for the hardcore gamers among us. NEXT!

Monster Bash!


And here's one NOT for the kiddies! At first glance Monster Bash is a cute cartoony haloween romp, but think again! With heaps of gory gibs, intestines wrapped around spikes, and decapitated heads flying everywhere, Monster Bash is a wonderful and brutally gory adventure for the big kids.

Monuments of Mars


Monuments of Mars is another oldschool CGA platformer. Pretty much Arctic Adventure in space. With aliens. And space stuff.

Mystic Towers


Ok now we're talking! Mystic Towers is a wicked sweet isometric puzzle/platforming RPG. Starring Baron Baldric, a jolly and flatulent old geezer with an arsenal of magic spells (and poisonous gas clouds!), he's ready to take on any foe he may stumble across. Be sure to let him idle for a few moments, as the good Baron will burp, fart, pick his nose, and scratch his arse. Charming!

Paganitzu


Alabama Smith is back once again! And this time he's packing EGA graphics! No longer limited to the cheesy CGA colors of the past, he can now solve epic puzzles as he journeys through a world painted with a lush and vibrant pallet of 16 WHOLE COLORS! Score!

Pharaoh's Tomb


Oh. The CGA pallet came back again. Damn. Sorry old chap, dunno what to say. Just keep going, you can get through it! Pharaoh's Tomb is yet another Alabama Smith adventure, this time taking place in the tomb of a pharaoh! Adventure awaits! Just try not to get any sand in your boots.

Blake Stone: Planet Strike


Blake Stone is back, baby! And so is his nemesis, Dr. Pyrus Goldfire! More guns, more glory! Blake Stone is here to kick alien ass and chew bubblegum and he's all out of... Wait, wrong action hero. It's time once again for agent Blake Stone to punt the mutant menace in the jorblochs, and make sure that this time Goldfire retires PERMANENTLY!

Raptor: Call of The Shadows


Ahhh Raptor... Another fine vertical shooter, this one sees you in control of an advanced fighter jet, armed to the teeth with machine guns and missles. Raptor: Call of The Shadows differs quite nicely from other SHMUPS in the fact that you have a shield gauge rather than the typical "one shot and you die" mechanic. With a rockin soundtrack, tough as nails bosses, and a nice varied set of levels, Raptor will keep you coming back for more!

Realms of Chaos


Realms of Chaos is a pretty sweet game. It's a sidescrolling hack'n'slash rpg that lets you switch between a swordsman and a sorceress whenever you like. It's got good graphics, a nice soundtrack, and some nice action to boot. The gameplay is quite similar to Actraiser on the SNES.

Rise of The Triad: Dark War


Ooh, this is a treat right here. At the time of it's release, Rise of The Triad was pretty much THE most violent game available for the PC, let alone anywhere else. With guns and explosives galore, and tons of secret areas, RoTT can seriously eat up hours upon hours of your time in a blink. Especially rewarding are the moments when you blow up an enemy JUST right and are treated to a shower of gore. "LUDICROUS GIBS" indeed.

Secret Agent


In Secret Agent you join Agent 006½ on a mission to save the world in a platforming puzzle-solving spy thriller romp. Parodying popular movies of the time, there's plenty of wit to go around here. Plenty of gameplay too.

Shadow Warrior


Who wants some Wang? No, not that kind of wang. Get yer mind outta the gutter, buddy! Lo Wang is here, and he's gonna paint the land of the rising sun red with the blood of his enemies. Betrayed and left for dead by his boss, Zilla, Lo Wang is on the run and out to cut himself some ninja sushi. Sharpen your shurikens and polish your katana, it's time to rip Nippon a new one! Bonus Fortune Cookies: Man who fart in church sit in own pew. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. Baseball wrong, man with four ball cannot walk. Stuck in pantry? You have ass in jam!

Stargunner


Stargunner is yet another balls-to-the-wall SHMUP, but this time on the horizontal plane. Quite similar in gameplay to the classic Gradius and R-Type games, Stargunner has enough action and upgrades to keep you going for hours.

Terminal Velocity


Whoof, hope you don't get airsick easily! Terminal Velocity is a 6DOF shooter in the same vein as Descent, except in this one you aren't stuck underground! Fly above the clouds! Fly upside down! Paint the cockpit canopy wit your lunch(no, not really)! In Teminal Velocity there is sh*t that needs blowing up, and you're just the pilot to blow it up.

Wacky Wheels


What's this? Mario Kart for furries? Hell no! It's just a sweet little racer that happens to star a colorful cast of cute cuddly critters! VERY similar in gameplay to Mario Kart, however only in Wacky Wheels do you get to snatch up hedgehogs sitting on toilets(WTF?) and launch them at your foes!

Wolfenstein 3D


Ahh here we are, the original first person shooter. Wolfenstein 3D has enjoyed a fine history of being BANNED in Germany for it's use of nazi imagery. Poor german gamers, they don't get to go after mecha-Hitler with a lead-spewing chaingun. MUAAAAA HAAA HAAA! DIE FUHRER, DIEEEEEEE! Fun Fact: when your health gets desperately low, you can slurp up pools of blood from the floor to heal yourself!

Word Rescue


Uhh, ok, here's some more kid-friendly edutainment. Word Rescue is basically Math rescue, but with words this time. Alright kiddos, set forth and kick some gruzzle ass! And stuff. Once again, if you're into this kinda thing you might get some enjoyment out of it. Otherwise save it for the kids in your life.



So there we have it. The 3DRealms Anthology is a collection of 32 games from the company's past, of which 99% are utterly kickass, and the remaining 1% is edutainment. On top of that you get the wicked album 3DRealms Anthology Re-Rockestrated, which has 9 awesome tracks spanning the best of the collection.


When you add everything together there is no denying that this set is WELL worth the $39.99 asking price. So don't think twice about it, go for it! Everything is bundled into one hassle-free launcher, and will run on any modern Windows PC with no configuration needed, and Xbox 360 controller support to boot! Get to the 3DRealms site and buy this collection, You owe it to yourself to enjoy these classic masterpieces.

3DRealms Anthology