Gears of War 4 Review

Gears of War 4
Developed By: The Coalition
Published By: Microsoft Studios
Date of Release: October 11, 2016
Price: $59.99 USD



And there you have it, the magnificent Error, see details. Such gripping content.

I managed to play about 40 mins of the campaign until I was interrupted by a windows update reboot mid-session, which seemed to corrupt the game beyond repair. I've put hours into trying to get the game to re-download at this point, it hits 99% and gives the error, which has NO details. Whatsoever. Perhaps it's time for MS to pout their limping storefront out of it's misery and go to Steam like any intelligent publisher would?

Carmageddon Max Damage

Carmageddon Max Damage
PS4 (reviewed)/Xbox One
Developed By: Stainless Games
Published By: Sold Out
Date of Release: July 8, 2016

In the year 1997, the feces hit the radiator fan. A racing game so vulgar, crass and violent was released that even the pope* lost his shit. Carmageddon had arrived in full force, and the gaming world would never be the same. Contestants would strap themselves into motorized death machines, and try to smash the crap out of their opponents while flattening as many pedestrians as possible along the way. Reaching the finish line was optional. Back in the day all this gratuitous gore was shocking and memorable, but this day and age it doesn't carry quite so much in the shock factor department, though it's still a decent way to spend an afternoon.



Thankfully the newest reincarnation of the franchise, Carmageddon Max Damage, has brought things forward into modern times. From the shiny chrome-plated graphics to the bone-crunching sound effects, they've provided the full package here. Also much improved is the game's control system, which quite frankly was an utter shitshow on the older PC games in the series. Everything that made the franchise fan-f**king-tastic has returned full force, and then some. The classic Carmageddon gameplay mode is here, where you can take the checkpoints, smash all your foes, or tediously hunt down each and every pedestrian to win (blah!).



That's not to say everything is popping up smelling like roses. The load times in particular reek like bullshit, sometimes taking several minutes to load up the carnage. The framerate tanked a few times on me as well, but with that much highly-detail gut-spewing destruction onscreen at once it's to be expected that the game engine might shit it's pants occasionally. But despite a couple of dingleberries in the mix, this hot mess still comes out on top. It's saving grace is the fact that on the market right now there's just nothing like it at all, and that fact makes it a gleaming polished turd bobbing in a sea of boring cookie-cutter sequelitis diarrhea. So go for it, blow your load (of cash) all over Carmageddon: Max Damage. Just make sure to wash your hands when you're done.


*Greg Pope, MP

Code of Princess PC Review

Code of Princess
Developed By: Studio Saizensen
Published By: Degica
Date of Release: April 14, 2016
Price: $14.99

When it comes to sidescrolling beat-em-ups, one game tends to stand above them all when it comes to fame, and that game is Guardian Heroes. Long held as the Crown prince of the genre, its status has never been challenged... until now. Here comes Code of Princess! A bodaciously bouncy busty babe bearing a badass blade, Princess Solange Blanchefleur de Lux has arrived on the scene to save the world! Taking definite inspiration from the classic beat-em-ups of yore, Code of Princess explodes onto the PC scene with classic gameplay that should satisfy anyone who ever enjoyed Guardian Heroes or Princess Crown. Everything that fans of the genre crave is present here, from excellent hit detection to intricately balanced mechanics.



Code of Princess manages to strike the right balance between oldschool classic and modern masterpiece, with gorgeously detailed and well-animated sprites filling the screen at every possible moment, and lush rendered backdrops. The soundtrack is wonderfully varied as well, ranging from dramatic orchestral style pieces to smooth jazz, and even a bit of rock thrown in the mix. My only complaint with this PC port (it originally was released on the 3DS) is that the graphics options are lacking besides fullscreen and vsync modes. The controls at least are fully remappable, so that's a plus. Achievements have been added to round out the package, so there's also something there for those of us who enjoy hunting down every last one.



With all that Code of Princess has to offer, gamers are sure to get hours of enjoyment out of the campaign. However if that isn't enough, you can also play co-op online with up to 4 players! The online play is smooth and lag-free, and the more members you have in your party the more fun and chaos it adds to the to experience. With well-rounded characters, perfect graphics, wonderful sound, Code of Princess is definitely the full package for those who want a decent sidescrolling brawler on the PC. So hurry up and get on Steam to get yourself a copy!

Shantae and the Pirate's Curse PS4

Shantae and the Pirate's Curse PS4
Developed By: Wayforward
Published By: Wayforward
Date of Release: April 19, 2016
Price: $19.99

Yarrrr mateys, here we are once again in the magical shivery-timbery world of Piratey/Genie based metroidvanias. Shantae is back again in pixel-perfect PS4 form, in Shantae and the Pirate's Curse! Evil is once again casting a shadow over Sequin land, and it's up to Shantae, who is unfortunately now powerless, to once again save the day! As usual we are treated to stunning pixel art courtesy of the prodigious Matt Bozon, who seems to be able to turn anything he draws into solid gold. Or at least pretty pictures.



Thankfully this time around the source material is widescreen, so those of us on a modern TV don't have to deal with ugly aspect ratio snafus. It was slightly jarring to see the last entry in the series upscaled from the tiny DSi screen to widescreen TVs. This time around though we're coming from the much more pixel-rich 3DS, and the extra resolution makes such a difference. Improvements are also noted on the audio front, as the soundtrack features much richer samples this time around. A lot of familiar and welcome tracks abound here, and the new offerings are just as sweet to the ears.



As for the gameplay? We have typical Shantae gaming on offer here, though with a few neat twists and turns as Shantae replaces her lost genie powers with piratey ones. We also see the return of the series' awesomely weirdass and offbeat humor, with an epic plot weaved in for good measure. The only downside that I found (which honestly is a very minor one) is that you cannot remap the controls, which could cause a lot of trouble for people that are used to one preferred control style or the other. However I had no problem playing with the Dualshock 4, the controls are mapped out pretty much the same as the 3DS version layout wise. All in all a fine PS4 port! I highly recommend that you shake your booty over to the PSN and buy Shantae and the Pirate's curse right now!

Hyperdimension Neptunia U: Action Unleashed PC Review

Hyperdimension Neptunia U: Action Unleashed (PC)
Developed By: Tamsoft
Published By: Idea Factory International
Date of Release: March 21, 2016
Price: $39.99

Ever since the beginning of the Hyperdimension Neptunia series I have been utterly and completely enamored with the continuing "console war" allegory that each entry spins. The engaging story, cute-as-a-button characters, and raunchy humor all combine to make a massively entertaining experience. Even IF the gameplay can drag on a little bit in the end. Thankfully this new entry in the series, Tamsoft's Hyperdimension Neptunia U: Action Unleashed is an entirely new beast. Playing like a cuted up version of Dynasty Warriors, Action Unleashed captures the oh so marvelous adventures of the series main characters, but in a totally new (and non-canon) format.



Action unleashed marks the first time in the series that you can take direct control of your favorite characters and fight off hordes of enemies in real-time. It's such a refreshing departure from the somewhat tired turn-based gameplay from before. Being able to freely run around and hack your enemies to bits just feels so much more right somehow. It also helps that the game is absolutely GORGEOUS and runs at a silky smooth framerate. The extra detail also brings the game's more shameless moments to the forefront, as your character will lose her clothes as she takes damage, until you're left in your skivvies! The clothign loss DOES somehow cause a boost in power, perhaps a rage mode brought on by embarrassment? With the wardrobe shenanigans aside, the sounds and voices are as top-notch as it gets, and even treats you to a dual language option.



So with all that taken into consideration, there's really nothing that I can say detracts from the experience. Even the game's camera system is incredibly competent. Not many Dynasty Warrior games or clones have manged to pull off perfect camera systems. This is definitely a game that was made to cater to the fans of the series, with no gimmicky crap tacked on (unless you count the copious levels of fanservice!). As awesome as Re;Birth 1 and 2 were, I can recommend Hyperdimension Neptunia U: Action unleashed as the definitive Neptunia title on the PC. This port is flawless! So get out there and get Neppy with it!

Rocket League Review

Rocket League (Xbox One)
Developed/Published By: Psyonix
Date of Release: February 17, 2016

Soccer with cars. Just let that sink in. Soccer with an oversized ball, and motor vehicles instead of players. This is Rocket League in a nutshell, and it's by far not your dad's game of footy. The matches in Rockey League are played fast and furious, and the order of the day is pulling off wicked stunts while you score. Even if it does sound absolutely bizarre on paper, in execution it's handled quite flawlessly.



Rocket League is a 4 on 4 experience, and literally all there is to it is trying to land mad stunts while scoring on your opponents goal. That would get old after a while if the controls weren't so damn tight, and the fluid gameplay also helps out. It's not often that a game takes a concept as bizarre as this and succeeds so smashingly. it's one of those games that you get going with your friends and ends up being "just one more round and we'll stop", and the next thing you know it's 3am.



At the end of the day Rocket League is really the only game of it's sort, so there's nothing else to really compare it to. And that's just fine, because in this day of sports games being recycled retreads of the previous year's detritus, a bit of originality is all it needs to hold it's own even without competition. Even if you're not a fan pf sports games, Rocket League is un-sports enough to please anyone who is looking for a good dose of competitive action.

Mushihimesama Review

Mushihimesama
Developed By: CAVE
Published By: Degica
Date of Release: November 12, 2015
Price: $19.99

In the year 2004, the bullet-hell game developer know as CAVE released what is arguably it's greatest game. Inspired by the Hayao Miyazaki film Nausicaa of The Valley of The Wind, it featured not gritty military hardware and testosterone-fuled action, but a cute princess riding on a giant beetle. This game was none other than Mushihimesama, quite literally translating to "Bug-Princess". Instead of bleak apocalyptic and war-torn locales, it took place in a lush and majestic forest, populated by giant insects of all varieties. Yes, this game is absolutely riddled with bugs, but thankfully they are of the insect variety, CAVEs work is INCREDIBLY polished.



The gameplay in Mushihimesama is standard SHMUP fare, with an assortment of beam configurations and a plethora of powerups to collect. Don't get too complacent though, the bullet patterns in the harder difficulties are epic mandalas of death and destruction. YOU WILL DIE A LOT. Of course, that's how you learn, practice makes perfect. The colorful sprites and backgrounds along with the beautiful score make it easy to keep going, and you'll find yourself taking just one more try. The difficulty is punishing, however it is never unfair, and you can play through with infinite continues if you like. The controls are tight and rebindable, and whether you use a keyboard, gamepad or arcade stick they are perfectly responsive.



When it comes right down to it, Mushihimesama is a perfect example of what makes a CAVE game great, and it is a perfect appetizer course for the upcoming feast of CAVE titles coming to steam. According to Degica, the next course will be Deathsmiles, coming in Spring of 2016. Personally I am looking forward to it, I have the Xbox 360 version already, and it was an absolute blast, and I can't wait to see how much better the PC version will be. Here's to CAVE and Degica, our bullet hell champions! May the future hold epic proportions of danmaku!