Sonic CD Review

Sonic CD (PS3/Xbox 360)
Developed By: SEGA, Christian Whitehead
Published By: SEGA
Date of Release: December 14, 2011 (XBLA) December 20, 2011 (PSN)
Price: $4.99/400MSP

20 years. Two decades. A fifth of a century. That is how long it has been since SEGA released the first Sonic The Hedgehog game for the Sega Genesis in 1991. And now that our spikey blue friend has reached such a momentous milestone, SEGA is helping him celebrate in style with the re-release of Sonic CD. At first glance you may scoff at the bargain price, thinking that it's just a haphazardly ported cash grab. However such thinking could not be farther from the truth!




The 2011 revival of Sonic CD was masterminded by a genius freelance coder named Christian Whitehead. He originally pitched the idea of a Sonic CD port using his amazing Retro Engine, and SEGA signed him on after seeing a demo version. As a result we have the amazingly polished work which is on the review table today. Sonic CD is an absolutely marvelous pixel-perfect port of the original, with enough time traveling extras to fill a DeLorean. Let's start with the soundtrack, shall we? Players immediately have the option to switch between the Japanese and USA versions of the soundtrack, with only a small disappointment in the loss of the Japanese theme song's lyrics, due to licensing issues. However the rest of the amazing soundtracks are there in full force, sounding every bit as good as they did 20 years ago.




Another new addition is the choice between the original Sonic CD spindash, and the famous one from Sonic The Hedgehog 2. Choosing the latter will slightly alter the game's physics, making it feel more like playing Sonic 2. Like the music, the spindash feature can be toggled at any time in the main menu. And now for the graphics! Not only does Sonic CD have the original graphical style intact, it's been expanded into full widescreen, with 3 detail options to choose from! You can choose the original pixelated retro glory, a bilinear type smoothing filter, and an HD upscaler that gives you the crisp edges and smooth sprites from the other two modes.
And if all that isn't enough, you can now play as Tails after you finish the main game!




Playing as Tails is kind of like a cheat mode, as you have access to every single inch of the map, and you can take all kinds of shortcuts. It definitely gives players a chance to explore the levels, and find things that they never would have seen otherwise. Add to that the addition of Trophies and Acheivements, and Sonic fans really have the whole package here. Now honestly, what are you still doing here? Get over to the PSN or XBLA and buy this thing!

Satazius Review

Satazius
Developed By: Astro Port
Localized By: Nyu-Media
Published By: Capcom
Date of Release: December 16, 2011
Price: $5.99

It's no secret how fond I am of the shoot-em-up genre, be it the bullet hell bliss of Gundemonium or the retro stylings of Gradius and R-Type. It is this latter type that today's entry falls under, though there are times that your foe's bullets will flood the screen giving you little hope of escape. However Satazius is a game more akin to the classic Snes-era Gradius titles, with a few twists of it's own!




Satazius is a game that takes a fair bit of trial and error before you get into the flow of it. Like Gradius, you choose your loadout and upgrade plan before you start, and collect capsules along the way to upgrade your weapons. Anyone who has played Gradius should immediately feel at home. The controls are tight and responsive, and the non-linear branching paths through the levels give you a fresh experience each time you play it. Always be on the lookout for places that you can veer off from the main path, as exploration is rewarded.




Satazius is quite easy on the eyes graphically, with gorgeous hand-drawn art making up the game's massive sprites and lush backgrounds. It looks like it could have easily be at home on the SNES or Playstation. The pounding techno soundtrack is also impressive, with heavy beats thumping along to the explosive action. It's definitely clear that the SHMUP genre is making a comeback lately, and games like Satazius are going to take the lead in this retro-revolution. At $5.99, Satazius is a must buy for Steam users who like retro shooters. This Steam port is truly excellent, though it does lack online leaderboards and acheivements, though i imagine those could be easily patched in. I truly can't wait to see what is next from Nyu-Media!

COME GET SOME!

Duke Nukem Forever (PC, Xbox360)
Developed By: Triptych Games
Published By: Gearbox Software
Date of Release: June 14, 2011
Price: $19.99

15 years. One and a half long decades. That is how long the world waited for a true sequel to Duke Nukem 3D. Stuck in the longest ever known development hell, switching engines multiple times, and winning a crapton of vaporware awards, Duke Nukem Forever seemed destined to never see the light of day. But see the light of day it did, thanks to the combined efforts of Triptych Games and Gearbox Software!

Triptych Games was founded when 3DRealms closed it's doors back in 2009, and they worked out of their own homes for no pay to make DNF what it is today. Then in 2010, Gearbox Software bought the franchise, hired on Triptych, and helped them polish their work, resulting in the badass beast we know today.

The Duke Nukem series has always been known for it's balls-out irreverent sense of humor, and DNF continues that fine tradition of debauchery with gusto. The traditional Duke charm is firmly imbedded in the game's design, managing to give fans a good laugh along the way and in the process completely offending those who don't get Duke's particularly awesome brand of humor.

The gameplay is a melting pot of what's best about classic FPS games, and the best of their contemporary counterparts. Gone are random medkits and stimpacks, now we have a regenerating EGO bar that represents Duke's Dukeness. Let it drop to nothing, and he might not be able to shrug off that next bullet. Dive behind cover and rest a moment and you'll be back in action in quick order. Or you can take the manly route and use an execution move on an enemy, this instantly refills Duke's ego bar.

The signature interaction introduced by Duke Nukem 3D is back in force, with pool tables, pinball machines, weight benches, arcade games, air hockey, and more ready to entertain those who want to take a break from the carnage and just mess around.
Most items give you a permanent EGO boost the first time you use them, to try and mess around with anything and everything. You can even recreate the infamous microwave scene from Maniac Mansion.

Dukes signature arsenal is back in former glory, and this is where the Xbox 360 version takes a bit of a sidestep from the PC counterpart, on PC they patched in the ability to carry four weapons at once, but on the console as of this writing you can still only carry two. Still, the game is amazingly balanced, with plenty of guns lying around to take your pick from. During boss fights you can usually find an ammo crate to keep the rockets flying, so don't be afraid to use your firepower.

Multiplayer returns big time in DNF, with Dukematch, Team Dukematch, Capture the Babe (capture the flag, but easier on the eyes) and Hail to The King. A diverse array of maps are included, based on locations seen in the campaign. My personal favorite is Duke Burger, which sees the players shrink down to action-figure size, and let loose in the kitchen of the iconic fast-food joint. Earning EXP in multiplayer earns you new items to decorate your personal penthouse, and completing challenges gives you new shirts and hats to customize your Duke.

Duke Nukem Forever may not be the greatest game of all time, but despite some long loading times on the Xbox 360 version it stands tall and proud in representation of the Duke franchise, and in my humble opinion it should be played by fans and newcomers to the series alike, as it finally brings closure to the most epically insane development saga in the history of gaming. Oh, and it kicks ass too!





Hail to the Icons Parody Pack (PC, Xbox360)
Developed By: Triptych Games
Published By: Gearbox Software
Date of Release: October 11, 2011
Price: $9.99, 800 MSP

What's this? Can't get enough DNF multiplayer? Well we've got what you need right here! Welcome to the Hail to The Icons Parody Pack! Serving up a healthy dose of four new maps and 3 new weapons, this pack gives you four new maps, new weapons, and new game modes!

On the maps front we have the Team Fortress 2 inspired 2forts1bridge, the Doom inspired Inferno, the self-explanatory Call of Duke, and the epic Sandpit, inspired by Halo's Blood Gulch. Among the new modes in this pack are Freeze Tag, where you shatter your foes for point combos, the babe-coveting Hot Potato mode, and a new version of Hail to The King.

Each of the new maps also presents players with an exclusive themed weapon. Inferno has the big badass DFG, 2forts1bridge has the minigun, Call of Duke has the potato spamming NOOB TOOB, and as for Sandpit? STICKY BOMBS! All in all the Hail to the Icons Parody Pack gives DNF multiplayer fans a whole lot of new asskicking opportunities.


The Doctor Who Cloned Me (PC, Xbox360)
Developed By: Triptych Games
Published By: Gearbox Software
Date of Release: December 13, 2011
Price: $9.99, 800 MSP

If you're coming to this page today, you have probably played everything else in the review so far, and you want to know if The Doctor Who Cloned Me is any good. Well, I'm here to tell you it's not good. It's F*CKING GOOD. It's the most epic Duke experience I have had since Duke3D. It makes the main campaign look like fanfiction.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Babes and Dukes... The Doctor Who Cloned Me is the REAL DEAL. With a bowl of nachos.

The Doctor Who Cloned Me picks up right where DNF left off, and doesn't let you sit still for even a moment. Great action, great puzzles, and awesome driving sequences await. This expansion gets everything right, from the attitude, the humor, to the pacing. Not only do you get an awesome new campaign to play through, you get 4 new multiplayer maps, and new weapons to boot! Start to finish it took me about 4 hours to play through, and I am getting ready to play through it again! I should note that on the Xbox360 version the load times seem to be a little bit shorter than the main campaign.

The four new multiplayer maps are a diverse bag of goodness, from the office building in Sky High, EDF Command, the rooftop of Duke's casino in Drop Zone, and the Breston Plant Nuclear Facility in Biohazard, multiplayer aficionados will be rolling in shell casings for a long time to come. When you get right down to it, The Doctor Who Cloned Me goes to show that the team at Triptych definitely haven't lost their touch. All you Duke fans out there should drop everything and buy this pack NOW.

I've got ballsballsballsballs of steeeel!

COMING SOON! I'll be reviewing the brand new DLC campaign for Duke Nukem Forever: The Doctor Who Cloned Me! Not only that, but I'll be reviewing the main campaign as well, plus the Hail to the Icons multiplayer DLC. Tune in again soon, same Duke time, same Duke channel!

Serious Sam 3: BFE Review

Serious Sam 3: BFE (Steam PC)
Developed By: Croteam
Published By: Devolver Digital
Date of Release: November 22, 2011
Price: $39.99

In this day and age where the by the numbers FPS formula dominates everything with it's bland linear levels and cutscenes every 3 seconds, the genre is starting to go stale. Croteam and Devolver Digital promised to fix all that with the release of the third major title in its flagship series, Serious Sam 3: BFE. Gone would be the cookie cutter approach, the sparse enemy encounters, and crappy gameplay that recent FPS offerings brought to the table. Did they deliver? HELL FRIGGING NO!




Serious Sam 3: BFE is yet another in a long line of tired worthless "blockbusters", which are mere shells of the former glory from gaming's past. You start off in modern day Egypt with the same stereotypical soldier-boy wannabes that you'd see in the latest Modern Warfare shlock and the plot, or lack thereof, unfolds in a predictable mess. The gameplay has you sprinting down barren streets, with a few foes popping out occasionally to take potshots at you, and are easily dispatched by modern gaming's latest cheat- err, innovation, aiming down the sights. Honestly in my many years of gaming I have never been so let down by crap like this. Serious Sam 3: BFE is an utter disgrace and should NOT be bought.


























Did you think I was freaking SERIOUS!?

Croteam has pulled the greatest prank in the history of gaming with SS3:BFE, by making the opening act of the game a blatant example of EVERYTHING that is currently wrong with the genre. I imagine everyone who worked on the game is sporting a healthy trollface right about now. Right at the point where you are ready to just rage about the steaming pile that you just paid 40 bucks for, the game totally switches gears and becomes a classic Serious Sam experience, complete with all the trimmings. Hordes of screaming kamikazes. Waves of foes out for your blood. And all the bigass weaponry you need to blow them away.




All of Sam's usual foes are here from the cyclopian Gnaar to the Scythian Witch-Harpy, all gloriously rendered on the Serious Engine 3.5 with style to spare! Also returning are signature weapons such as the rocket launcher, double barrel shotgun, and the chaingun, with piles of new toys added in the mix to help you unleash Armageddon on your enemies.




The gameplay experience is literally ripped out of the 90's with sprawling levels to explore, plenty of enemies to kill, and no one holding your hand and showing you where to go. SS3:BFE is a big-boy's FPS, so time to ditch the diapers and man up! Another thing: you can SAVE YOUR GAME. The usual autosave system is present, however you can actually open the menu and choose "Save Game". It's a mystical and advanced technique thought lost in days of checkpoints and consolization, but SS3:BFE pulls it off perfectly!




Of course no Serious Sam experience would be complete without a crapton of extras, and SS3:BFE delivers! Right off the bat you have a lengthy single player campaign, local splitscreen co-op and deathmatch, online co-op and deathmatch, AND survival mode. Add to that a metric crapton of tweakability, where graphic sound and control settings can be edited to your every whim. You can even swap out the blood and gibs for nommy showers of candy! Yum!

I can honestly say that Serious Sam 3: BFE is the best FPS experience I have had in years, and that's saying quite a bit, what with the recent releases of RAGE and Duke Nukem Forever and Bulletstorm. If your on the fence, take my advice and buy it. Buy 3 copies! Fork Parker will thank you!

Rochard Review

Rochard (PC)
Developed By: Recoil Games
Date of Release: November 15, 2011
Price: $9.99

To sum up Rochard in a nutshell: Metroidvania's gameplay and Team Fortress 2's visuals made a baby, and that baby grew up a redneck miner with a gravity gun. Rochard starts the titular character John Rochard, a deep space miner who is tough enough to get 'er done. Voiced by Jon St. John of Duke Nukem fame, John Rochard is a very likable character with plenty of personality. So many games these days feature faceless nameless protagonists, to have a character-driven game of this caliber is a refreshing treat.




The gameplay in Rochard is a very effective and well-executed blend of platforming, exploration and physics based puzzle solving and combat. With a vast gameworld to explore, devious enemies to fight, and plenty of puzzles to solve, Rochard has plenty to keep you busy. John's main weapon is the G-Lifter, which is extremely similar in function to Half-Life 2's gravity gun, however the G-Lifter also has the added ability to turn off gravity, which is extremely helpful in solving the game's myriad puzzles. Later on however you will gain access to the Rock-Blaster, which is purely an offensive weapon. And you'll need it, there are plenty of foes to face off with.

As amazing as the dialogue is in Rochard, the soundscape shines even brighter. For most of the game you will hear impressive ambient sounds, as machines do their work in the background. However at just the right time the game's amazing score will pick up and set the mood and intensity for critical moments. The soundtrack itself is by none other than Markus "Captain" Kaarlonen, the rocking keyboardist of Poets of The Fall. The soundtrack starts off with a rockabilly number called "Grinder's Blues" and then switches gears to an amazing Sci-Fi experience. The amazing album is available both in a combo on Steam with the Rochard game, or as a separate download on the Poets of The Fall webstore.




In my experience playing Rochard I got a good solid 8 hours out of it, which is pretty damn satisfying for a game of this price and genre. From casual to hard core gamers, to the metroidvania junkies out there, Rochard is a must buy!

Vanguard Bandits Review

Vanguard Bandits (PS3/PSP)
Developed By: Working Designs
Published By: MonkeyPaw Games
Date of Release: November 15, 2011
Price: $9.99

April 29, 2000. Four months after the human race survived what was foretold to be the end of our very life, the Y2K crash. And yet, and awesome little company know as Working Designs had tiled away despite the doomsaying and armagiddying, and on this day they released one of the finest mecha strategy rpg's of all time: Vanguard Bandits. And now 11 years later MonkeyPaw Games has resurrected this fine champion so that it may fight again once more!




Vanguard Bandits is a tale of courage, and valor, and chivalry, along with a healthy dose of badass giant robots! You play as young knight-in-training Bastion as he and his rag-tag band of knights rebel against the evil Junaris Empire and their ghastly machines of death and destruction. Sounds like something out of an awesome 90's anime, eh? The anime influences show greatly, from the character and mecha designs, to the beautifully drawn portraits that accompany the dialogue. Not to mention the awesome animated intro that precedes the game!




Gameplay in Vanguard Bandits is your standard gridified turn-based warfare that is normal seen in a strategy rpg title, such as that which is seen in Final Fantasy Tactics and Front Mission. However the gameplay experience is highly polished on many levels, and the well-tuned engine makes fighting battles a joy. You face off against your enemies piloting an ATAC (All-Terrain Armored Combatant) in what exxentially boils down to a heavilly armed version of rock-paper-scissors. Of particular note is the strategic concept of flanking, attacking your foe from the sides or the rear can prove to be advantageous, as you will deal extra damage, and often they cannot even counterattack against you.




The length of the game is quite decent, with 3 main branches to the storyline, with seperate endings and a new story after you finish the main quest. The epic struggles of the game's protagonists should keep anime, mecha and SRPG fans happy for quite a long time. Add to that the fact that the game can be played on both the PS3 AND taken on the road with the PSP, you have a recipe for some good entertainment here. MonkeyPaw games should be proud of it's accomplishments bringing this grand title back to life!

Sonic Generations Review

Sonic Generations (Steam)
Developed By: SEGA
Published By: SEGA
Date of Release: November 4th, 2011
Price: $29.99

I remember the first time I played Sonic the Hedgehog when I was a kid. I was blown away by the colorful graphics, blazing speed, and the peppy soundtrack. There was just something magical about the blue hedgehog's adventures on the SEGA Genesis. And now, Sonic is back in Sonic Generations, with a mix of classic gameplay and new.




In Sonic Generations you play as two different characters: Sonic The Hedgehog. Sonic gets caught in a time warp and meets up with his past self, leading to wacky adventures. The levels in Generations are taken from earlier games in the series with both a classic act with 2.5d gameplay that hearkens back to the older titles, and a modern act, which plays out more like Sonic's recent adventures.

The variety of levels in Generations is absolutely excellent, presenting itself as a "Best Of" collection. The environments are wonderfully diverse, with vibrant colors and sounds, just bursting with nostalgia. The music for each level has two arrangements as well, with the retro-sounding classic version, and a modernized version to go with the re imagined levels.




Sonic generations has a lot of amazing content, from deviously designed challenge levels to awesome boss encounters. It truly is a title that should not be missed by old Sonic fans or new.

Daytona USA PS3 Review

Daytona USA (PS3)
Developed By: SEGA AM2
Published By: SEGA
Date of Release: October 26, 2011
Price: $9.99


ROOOOOLLING STAAAAAAAAAAAAART!

Man, just hearing those opening lyrics brings me back to 1994 when Boomerangs, my local arcade, brought in this awesome new racing game. It had a pair of comfy bucket seats, twin steering wheels and pedals, and huge screens. It was Daytona USA, and its 3d polygon graphics were like nothing I had ever seen. I spent many hours of my youth pumping quarters into that game, challenging anyone who would come my way.




Daytona USA had it all: blazing speed, awesome sound, booming music, intense competition, and excellently tight controls to top it all off. There were tracks for beginners and experts alike, with no sign of cheapo artificial difficulty, with a little practice anybody could shine.

Sadly, nothing seems to last forever. Boomerangs went out of business in 2001, and good old fashioned arcade racing disappeared with it. A couple ports for the Saturn and Dreamcast came out, but they never seemed to capture the spirit of the title.

The year is 2011. SEGA begins an all out digital assault on modern consoles, starting with classics like Sonic Adventure, Crazy Taxi, Space Channel 5... Little did the world know that come October, they would drop the biggest bomb of all: Daytona USA.

Completely retooled from the ground up with remastered sounds, music and stunningly sharp HD graphics, Daytona USA has managed to capture the true feel of the arcade original, which is no small feat. The new graphics retain the original look and feel of the game, with sharp redrawn textures to replace their fuzzy arcade counterparts. On the sound front you can swap between an arranged soundtrack and the original arcade music at will. The gamepad controls are incredibly tight, and you can also connect a racing wheel for the true arcade experience.




One strange addition is karaoke mode, which lets you choose a song to listen to while you race, the lyrics will be shown onscreen so you can sing along as you drive. I'm not sure why they added this on, but this is SEGA we're talking about, famous for often quirky game features. Other additions are challenge mode which sees you accomplishing various objectives, a survival mode where you have to beat the clock, and online multiplayer. My online experiences were perfectly smooth and lag free.

All in all, Daytona USA is a wonderful port that recaptures the look and feel of the glory days of arcade racing perfectly. Anyone who is tired of the stark and sterile realism of modern racing sims should look into Daytona USA, and novice drivers can cut their teeth on this awesome gem. If you're into racing, than you can totally burn rubber on this track!

RAGE Review

RAGE (PC)
Developed By: id Software
Published By: Bethesda Softworks
Date of Release: October 4th, 2011
Price: $59.99

I have to be honest, this review almost didn't get written. It's not because RAGE is a bad game, it's far from it. No, this delay was brought to you by a myriad array of bugs that initially kept me from finishing the game. However now that it is patched I have managed to get it running again, and saw it through to the end. Now that I have finished, it's time to review this beast!

Texas based id Software is known far and wide as the company that brought the First Person Shooter (FPS) genre to life, from the nazi-stomping masterpiece Wolfenstein 3D, the demo-slaying action of Doom, and the freak-fragging awesomeness of Quake. id Software has always been on the forefront of FPS technology and gameplay innovation. And now their next big thing has emerged in the form of RAGE.




Rage is set in the post-apocalyptic future, where you awaken from suspended animation in a shelter called an ARK, with no memory of your past. You quickly find out that you're not alone in this strange new world as bandits attack you, however friendly aid soon arrives. The game's first missions serve as an in-depth tutorial on how to play, however FPS veterans will immediately feel at home. Other than some excellent vehicular segments, RAGE is a by the numbers FPS, hearkening back to classic corridor shooters like Doom.

What isn't by the numbers however is the amazing id Tech 5 game engine. Using a new feature known as Megatexturing, id Tech 5 allows for amazing diversity and detail for the graphics by using one massive texture map to cover the game world, a welcome change from the repeated texture tiles of the past. Craggy cliffs, rusted metal, and ruined cityscapes jump off the screen with incredibly breathtaking detail. The character and enemy modelling and animation are also quite excellent.




As said before, the gameplay in RAGE is largely standard FPS fare, however a few interesting tidbits keep things interesting. You can craft various useful items from junk you find lying around the game world, and you can buy upgrades from your arsenal from vendors. When you're tired of traveling on foot you can hop into one of the game's many customizable vehicles and drive to your destination, fending off enemies with your onboard weapons. If you want to upgrade your vehicle's firepower and armor, you're gonna have to head to town and win a few races to save up the cash.

Multiplayer in RAGE is quite different from previous id Software offerings in the fact that it lacks the game mode that id famously pioneered, Deathmatch. Instead, you have two modes, the first of which is Road Rage, a collection of excellent vehicle based races and destruction derbies that make good use of the game's vehicle mechanics. I for one recommend that you have an Xbox 360 game pad connected to your PC for this mode. The other is Wasteland Legends, a co-op journey through various missions with objectives that encourage teamwork.




All in all, RAGE is a satisfying experience with plenty of hidden secrets, sidequests, shout outs to classic id games, and general good fun. The multiplayer will definitely keep you coming back for more as well. FPS aficionados will be busy for a long time with this one. RAGE should not be missed!

Serious Sam: The Random Encounter Review

Serious Sam: The Random Encounter
Developed By: Vlambeer
Published By: Devolver Digital
Date of Release: October 24, 2011
Price: $4.99

In the year 19XX, jRPGs were beginning. The ironically named Final Fantasy hit the scene, and things were good. Random enemy encounters, turn based battles, epic storylines. Over the years the series grew and evolved, spanning nine sequels before things started to get crappy. Why am I discussing a Japanese role playing series in a review about Serious Sam? Simple, Serious Sam: The Random Encounter takes the best of Final Fantasy's turn based random battles and blends with an ample helping of bullet hell action to create a thick hearty smoothie of awesome gameplay.




Dutch indie developer Vlambeer, famous for their titles Super Crate Box and Radical Fishing have managed to retain the series' signature style of humor while distilling the experience down into eye-pleasing pixel art and rocking chiptunes. Sam and his buddies may look retro, but they still have all of their gun-toting machismo, and then some. They are gonna need it too, since they have hordes of Mental's minions to face off against.

The gameplay in SS:TRE is deceptively simple. One must navigate massive world maps nearly an entire screen wide, solving mind boggling puzzles such as getting that key, and when you least expect it, BAM! Random Enemy Encounter!




Battles are fought on a horizontally scrolling battlefield as Sam and co. run backwards and fire at their foes. Sam's classic arsenal is present and accounted for, from his twin revolvers to his minigun. Each turn allows you to set your party's weapons, aim them, and use items. When you choose the command to attack, you take control of the party's vertical movement, which allows you to avoid enemies and their projectiles. With some skillfull shooting, you can win the day. Various items are scattered across the map in chests, including the hilarious Kamikaze Bait, which sends a horde of 100 headless kamikazes rushing at your foes, allowing you to turn the tide of battle.

Altogether it took me just over an hour to see the adventure through to the end, and I honestly did die quite a lot. However game over only means that you start over at the beginning of the map, and you retain your items. An endless mode is available after you finish the main quest, and it offers hours of enjoyable replayability.

Seriously Short. Seriously Sweet. Seriously worth your money.

Beat Hazard Ultra PS3 Review

Beat Hazard Ultra (PS3)
Developed and Published By: Cold Beam Games
Date of Release: 0ctober 19, 2011
Price: $9.99

Your music wants to kill you!

Welcome to the wild world of Beat Hazard Ultra! Do not attempt to adjust your TV, the trippy graphics are not the result of a malfunction OR an LSD trip. Beat Hazard is a twin-stick shooter that uses your music library to procedurally generate wave after wave of enemy fighters, deadly asteroids, and devious bosses.




The gameplay has you piloting your ship's movement with the left stick, and firing your guns with the right. Through collecting powerups dropped by downed enemies you can increase the music volume, boost your ship's power, and add to your score multiplier. You have an option to choose between the tracks included with the game, or MP3s on your PS3's hard drive. In my experience however, even though I have my music separated into neat folders the songs still showed up as a haphazard jumble, no matter which setting I chose.




Supposedly the game bases enemy waves and bullet patterns on the beat and tempo of the music, but whether I was listening to classical music or heavy metal the experience stayed the same. Still I was able to have a decent time playing beat hazard, and it is certainly more interesting than the PS3's built in visualizer. In my opinion however, they should have stuck with the $5 price point from when it was released on the Xbox 360, but shooter junkies may find something worthwhile in this package.

Bejeweled 3 (XBLA) Review

Bejeweled 3 (XBLA)
Developed By: Popcap Games
Published By: Popcap games
Date of Release: October 19, 2011
Price: 1200msp


As you all know, I am a pretty hardcore gamer, and I tend to play the most action packed shooters, rpgs, and the like. So naturally my reviews tend to go in that direction. However today I am bringing a different genre to the table, the casual game. Ladies and Gentlemen, for your consideration: Bejeweled 3.

In the year 2001 Popcap Games took the puzzle gaming world by storm with it's match-3 game, the original Bejeweled. It proved to be wildly popular, even among those who had never played videogames, and it spawned the casual genre, paving the way for sequels and spinoffs galore. And now 10 years later we have Bejeweled 3.




If you have played the earlier entries in the series, then you will feel right at home in Bejeweled 3's Classic Mode, which is simply an untimed gem matching marathon. Matching 3 gems clears them from the board, while new ones drop from above. Matching four gives you a flame gem, when when matched with 3 or more ordinary gems of the same color will detonate the closest gems of any color, and set off any nearby flame gems in a chain reaction. If you match gems in a T or L shape on the board, then you get a star gem, when matches it will detonate the entire lines of gems at it's four poles. Match five gems of the same color and you get a hypercube, which allows you to select an adjacent gem, detonating all gems of the same color on the board. The final special gem in Classic is the supernova gem, which needs 6 gems to be matched by dropping, it will detonate 3x3 rows of gems. The only way to lose in Classic is to run out of swappable gem combinations.

Zen Mode is a new addition to the series, it allows you to play endlessly as in Classic, however the music is much more soothing lending to a relaxing atmosphere. Lightning Mode gives you 60 seconds to match as many gems as you can, and making chains adds to your time limit. Quest Mode gives you various puzzles to solve based on the other modes. There are four secret modes that you must unlock by meeting requirements in the first four, and they are Butterflies, Diamond Mine, Ice Storm and Poker. Butterflies has you matching same colored gems with butterflies to collect them before they are eaten by spiders, Diamond Mine has you digging for buried treasure, Ice Storm has you fending off walls of encroaching ice, and Poker sees you making hands with matched gems. The variety of all these game modes ensures that there is something here for everyone.




The graphics in Bejeweled 3 are crisp and colorful, but they take a backseat to the majestic soundtrack. Composed by Peter Habja and Alexander Brandon of Skaven 252, Each mode has it's own and amazingly distinct theme. Anyone interested can go to their bandcamp site here, and have a listen for themselves.

Bejeweled 3 has a massive variety of gameplay to offer those who play it, as well as a stack of achievements and badges to earn, which adds even more to the already astronomical replay value. Anyone who is into puzzle games, or just wants something quick to play between rounds of their favorite hardcore shooter should take a look.

Gundemonium Collection Review

Gundemonium Collection (Steam)
Developed By: Platine Dispositif
Localized and Published By: Rockin Android
Date of Release: September 27, 2011
Price: $9.99

And now for your consideration, the "Bullet Hell" genre. Sometimes known here in the west as Shoot-Em-Ups, in Japan they are known as Danmaku (literally "curtain of bullets"). Nowhere else will you find a comparably edge-of-your seat, white-knuckle amount of tension from playing a game. From vertical scrollers like Triggerheart Exelica, Touhou and Ikaruga, to sidescrollers like Soldner X and Gradius, the Bullet Hell is all about dodging intricate patterns of flying lead with great finesse, all the while dishing out your own lethal barrage. And now a new contender has arrived to fight for the right to wear the coveted bullet hell crown: Gundemonium Collection.



The Gundemonium Collection is comprised of 3 individual titles, which are the horizontally scrolling Gundemonium Recollection and GundeadliGne, and the vertically scrolling Hitogata Happa. Previously released to great acclaim among shooter fans on the PS3, the Gundemonium Collection has exploded onto Steam with a wonderful assortment of new goodies. Among the new features are numerous tuneups to the game mechanics, Steam achievements, online co-op for GundeadliGne, and arranged soundtracks for Gundemonium and GundeadliGne by DM Ashura, and Hitogata Happa by Woofle.




The first game in the collection is Gundemonium Recollection, and it tells the story of Rozenkreuz Foundation agent Eryth Millfall as she fights the evil Demonium army led by her former comrade, the artificial Chrome Matrix Elixirel. Elixirel has been seduced by the very being she was meant to protect the world from, Gundemonium. The sequel GundeadliGne continues Eryth's story as she teams up with the reborn Elixirel and the new Matrix Masters. Together they face off against the forces of the rogue Matrix Master Lotus, who has turned against humanity out of spite.




As similar as the two games may seem though, they are actually two entirely different beasts. Both have you controlling your character on a horizontally scrolling field dodging waves of enemy bullets, which will only cause you harm if they come into contact with your character's Fatal Point, which on each character is represented by a scarf, bell or gem on their chest.

Both games have you juggling various special abilities to help you blow away your foes as you dodge between their shots. For example, getting close to enemy bullets without being hit builds up Friction, which restores your mana. You also have a limited number of bombs at your disposal, which when activated turns all enemy bullets onscreen into collectable gems, with the proper timing you can use this to avoid being killed by enemy attacks. Both of the games have hidden true forms for the final bosses, but only the truly adept will ever meet the astringent requirements to face off against them.



The third game in the series is Hitogata Happa, and it is a completely different experience from it's companions. It is a vertical scrolling shooter where you control an army of flying dolls to fight off enemy mecha, and face off against massive bosses. At any time you can charge up a kamikaze explosion attack, and sacrifice one of your dolls as a contact bomb to inflict greater damage. It can really turn the tide of battle, but use it sparingly as you are limited to the amount of dolls that you can afford. Dolls are paid for with the gems you collect from defeating enemies, so get out there and cause as much carnage as you can!




The anime style art direction on all three titles is nothing short of amazing, with gorgeous hand-drawn sprites and backgrounds. The characters are vibrant and well animated, and the stunning array of bullet patterns will leave you mesmerized. As for the music, the original soundtrack does it's job, albeit with a midi-era quality. Switch to the arranged soundtracks however, and you are in for a treat. Every track in each game has been lovingly arranged and retooled masterfully. The two Gundemoniums soundtracks are provided by DM Ashura, and Hitogata Happa is arranged by Woofle. I would imagine that if there is enough demand that Rockin Android will have to consider releasing an OST album, the music is just THAT good.



Gundemonium Collection is an amazingly well polished experience that is enjoyable by hardcore bullet hell fans and newcomers alike, though fair warning: it will not be a cakewalk. Bullet Hell games have long been known for the level of skill needed to navigate them, but with a bit of patience and practice anyone can master them. The games have a good amount of variety in their game mechanics, which each title able to stand on it's own. Demos of each game in the collection are now up on Steam, so shooter fans have no excuse not to give it a try. Gundemonium Collection is a worthy addition to anyone's library.

Radiant Silvergun Review

Radiant Silvergun (XBLA)
Published By: Microsoft Game Studios
Developed By: Treasure
Date of Release: September 14, 2011
Price: 1200 MSP

Ah nostalgia... how sweet it can be. The memory of playing a favorite game along with the urge to collect can drive people to spend exorbitant sums of money just to experience those feelings again. Which is likely why the original Sega Saturn version of Radiant Silvergun sells online for prices in the triple digit range. Luckily Treasure has come to rescue their fans with Radiant Silvergun for the Xbox Live Arcade. Priced at a mere 1200 Microsoft Points, the XBLA version has the original arcade mode plus the complete Sega Saturn version, even going so far as to include a cleaned up HD version of the anime intro video for story mode.



This amazing port also boasts some welcome additions, such as the ability to choose between pixel-perfect and smoothed versions of the original graphics, or brand new HD rendered visuals with an option to choose between Saturn style mesh or modern alpha blending for transparencies. Whether you're an oldschool purist or a modern graphics junkie, there is something here to please everyone.

In most games of this genre you start out with one weapon and then collect upgrades to unlock more firepower as you defeat your foes, however that is not the case with Radiant Silvergun. Instead you have your entire arsenal available from the start, and in story mode you actually can improve each weapon's power level by using it, and your progress is saved even if you get a game over. Speaking of which, you can expect to see the game over screen a LOT, as Radiant Silvergun retains it's oldschool style challenge. That's not to say that deaths are cheap, the game will reward you if you learn enemy patterns and play carefully. Thankfully as you accumulate playtime you unlock more and more continues, by the 7th hour of play you should have freeplay enabled, if you choose to use it. One word of warning, if you tinker with the difficulty settings, you cannot upload your scores to Xbox Live.



Radiant Silvergun has a nice bonus for those who also own Treasure's other magnum opus, Ikaruga. Having any achievement from Ikaruga unlocked on your account will give you access to the Ikaruga Mode, which uses the chain scoring system from Ikaruga itself. This adds a whole new dimension to the gameplay, and is something that should please both veterans and newcomers alike. It's time to pack up your dusty old Saturn and download Radiant Silvergun on XBLA.

Serious Sam Double-D Review

Serious Sam Double D (PC)
Published By: Devolver Digital
Developed By: Mommy's Best Games
Date of Release: August 30, 2011
Price: $7.99



Serious Sam Stone is back, and this time he's stacked. Rockstar indie devs Mommy's Best Games are known for such hits as Weapon of Choice, Shoot1Up, and Explosionade. When Devolver Digital announced the Serious Sam Indie Series, MBG stepped up to the plate with Serious Sam Double D, the most wacked out Serious Sam adventure yet. Before we get on with the review I first have to direct you to the hilarious trailer. I almost don't even need to review this title, the trailer sells it so well.



Serious Sam Double D is a run and gun sidescroller harkening back to the days of Contra and Metal Slug, with a few very awesome twists. For starters, it's got the signature brand of Serious Sam humor that we've all come to know and love, except this time it's turned up to 11 by the twisted minds at MBG. The second twist is the art direction. Everything in SSDD is made of insanely detailed hand-drawn sprites, with backgrounds reminiscent of watercolor paintings. The eye candy is incredible to behold. And if your ears are hungry for treats, the crunchy hard rocking riffs of the soundtrack should leave you satisfied as well.

All of Sam's signature arsenal is present and accounted for, although this time you have a special extra at your disposal, the GUNSTACKER. The gunstacker allows you to use connectors that you find hidden in the game's levels to connect your guns together, so you can stick a chainsaw on your shotgun, a grenade launcher on top of that, and then toss on a couple tommy guns for the full effect. You're only limited by the number of guns and connectors in your inventory.

You're gonna need those guns too. All of Sam's foes are back, itching to take him down once and for all. From beheaded kamikaze bombers to vicious gnaars, Sam will have his hands full. That's saying nothign of the new threats however, which include grenade launching jetpack monkeys, giant beetles, and even stacks of pancakes with forks for legs packing vuvuzela horns. You can't make this stuff up!

Serious Sam Double D is a solid and lengthy retro gaming experience, with loads of replayability as you try to find all of the hidden (and hilarious) secrets. Mommy's Best Games should be proud of their accomplishments, not many fan games ever attain this level of quality and polish.

Rock of Ages XBLA Review

Rock of Ages (Xbox 360)
Published By: ATLUS
Developed By: ACE Team
Released on: August 31, 2011
Price: 800 MSP


Throughout history, war has been an ever-changing machine. Battlefield tactics can change at any time, and a strategy that seems utter nonsense today could be the very key to winning tomorrow. ACE Team realized that truth, and it seems they have decided "Well, why not just bowl everything down with a whopping big boulder?".

Starting out with a Monty-Python style cinematic, Rock of Ages tells the story of Sisyphus, eternally bound to push a boulder up a hill only to have it roll back down the hill every time (after being speared in the tush by an imp each time, no less). He grows tired of this constant repetitive torture, and decides to storm the gates of Hades with his boulder.

Rock of ages is a real-time strategy/action/bowling/tower-defense game where the objective is to roll your boulder down a long and winding path through enemy defenses, and impact their castle gate with enough force to shatter it. After each crack at it (excuse the pun) a new boulder must be built, which gives you time to set up your own defenses, because (surprise!) your enemy has a boulder of his own, and he will stop at nothing to destroy YOUR gates as well.

Defenses in rock of ages include guard towers, catapults, villages, and roaming herds of cattle, with many more surprises to find along the way. You also have a massive catapult that you can use to attack the enemy boulder directly, however you must lead your target and time the shot just right. A few good hits and your foe will be gravel at your feet. Don't get too comfy though, as your enemy can rebuild just as fast as you can.

Multiplayer in Rock of Ages can be played either in two-player splitscreen, or over Xbox Live. Two players can go boulder-to-boulder in War mode, or face off in Skeeball, where the objective is to race down an obstacle-filled course, and land your ball in one of the target holes, earning points depending on which one you land in. A point bonus goes to the player who scores first as well.

Rock of ages is a well-rounded title which can provide plenty of action and laughs in single player, and it certainly gathers no moss in multiplayer. Whether you are facing off against your friends or trying to beat your best times in Time Trial, you're in for a rolling good time.

Chantelise Review

Chantelise PC
Published By: Carpe Fulgur
Developed By: EasyGameStation
Date of Release: July 29th, 2011
Price: $9.99

In September 2010, indie game dev EasyGameStation, with the help of the excellent localization team at Carpe Fulgur, exploded into the North American gaming scene with the steam launch of Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale. Released to rave reviews and massive popularity, Recettear has sold well over 100,000 copies, paving the way for the localization of their earlier work, Chantelise.

In Chantelise, you play a young girl named Elise, who's older sister has been cursed by a witch and turned into a fairy. The game starts out with the simple goal of finding said witch, and reversing the spell, but things can never be too simple.

The combat system is standard action-rpg hack and slash, with enemies dropping magic crystals you can use to chain together magic spells. Where Chantelise differs from the average RPG is the lack of any sort of leveling/experience system, instead you collect loot and grow stronger by upgrading your equipment.

One warning: this game is HARD. Expect to die multiple times as you save up enough cash for the next equipment upgrade. Thankfully, you won't be punished for dying, you are merely returned to town, where you can plan your assault anew. If you like grinding in rpg's, this is your game.

All in all, Chantelise is a wonderful game with a heartwarming aesthetic, with gorgeous hand drawn sprites populating a vibrant colorful world, and the soundtrack is top notch. With all this content at hand you can expect to spend about 14-15 hours playing.

E.Y.E: Divine Cybermancy Review

E.Y.E: Divine Cybermancy PC
Published By: Streum On Studio
Developed By: Streum On Studio
Date of Release: July 29, 2011
Price:$19.99



Well ladies and gentlemen, I must admit that I am stumped. I'm not sure how to review indie dev Streum On Studio's latest title, E.Y.E: Divine Cybermancy. so instead I will describe the experience I have had while playing it.

E.Y.E starts out by asking you to chose gene sequences to define your character's traits. After you have decided on your character's attributes you start out in some sort of dream sequence/trance. After exiting the door in said dream/trance, you are immediately thrust into a combat situation against rival factions, and this is where I admittedly lost track of the plot. That's quite alright though, because at that point I got to experience the wonderful combat system.

Combat and inventory management in E.Y.E is a little bit Deus EX, a little bit System Shock. You are limited by what weapons/ammo/items you can fit into your inventory grid. I was able to carry a minigun, dual handguns, and a lovely katana into battle, along with plenty of ammo. The minigun just chews through your foes like nothing else, and at 500 rounds per clip, reloads are few and far between. Successfully dispatching enemies earn you "Brouzof" points, I'm still not sure what they do however.

Once you get past the initial missions in the game, and start to get your bearings, that is when you start to realize the vast scope of the developer's vision. It may not make a whole lot of sense, however you can still appreciate the intense Matrix on LSD vibe they have going. E.Y.E is a surreal experience that is not for everyone, but if you have a taste for a deep world with plenty of secrets to unravel, this may just be the game you have been looking for.

Hacking is an interesting feature in E.Y.E, it works out like a realtime battle whener you have to apply hacks and counterhacks, and stay one step forward of what it is that you are trying to gain access to, because every hackable item in the game, be it a door or a computer, can hack you back. In the case this happens, you are infected with a virus that you have to deal with before you can continue.

I have thoroughly enjoyed the time I have spent in the trippy world of E.Y.E, and my only real complaint is that you cannot save anytime/anywhere, instead the game saves your progress at predetermined checkpoints, and also when you enter a main hub. One of the devs assured me that this is so you have to consider your actions carefully, instead of just rushing in guns blazing.

Brink Review

Brink PC
Published By: Bethesda
Developed By: Splash Damage
Released on May 12, 2011
Price: $49.99


It has often been said that in today's stale gaming scene, overcrowded by cookie-cutter clones of Call of Duty, gamers need a breath of fresh air. Enter Brink.

Brink is the latest masterpiece from UK developer Splash Damage, famous for their work on the Enemy Territory series. Running on the id Tech 4 engine that was made famous by such gems as Doom 3, Quake 4, and PREY, Brink sets off on a completely different tangent from it's forebearers. Brink is an online team-based multiplayer shooter which mixes up class based teamplay, free running acrobatics, and an online campaign which manages to include impressive cinematics rendered in-engine that drive the story forward. The very same campaign can be played offline, with a host of friendly AI bots on your team.

The gameplay in Brink is somewhat reminiscent of Team Fortress 2, in the sense that you have a set of classes to pick from, however Brink gives you a plethora of upgrades and options to customize your play style, not to mention for changing your look. As you earn XP and level up, you will gain new outfits, tattoos, and the like for making sure that your character's looks suit your style.

Back to the topic of gameplay, the missions in brink are laid out in an objective based fashion, one team on defense, and the opposing team completing the objectives as they go. A great emphasis is placed on working as a team, going it alone will only get you killed. Changing classes to suit your situation is definitely a must if you want to survive for very long.

There are a good variety of maps in Brink, each one sprawling beyond the size of the average game, with lots of nooks and crannies to explore. This is where two interesting factors come into play: body size and SMART. Your body size dictates how agile you are, a large body can't jump as high as a medium or small, and is slower, and small bodies can move faster and duck through low clearance areas with ease. The other factor is SMART (Smooth Movement Across Random Terrain). Using the assigned SMART button allows your character to seamlessly traverse the varied terrain, quite similar to free running. It can really help you get away from your adversaries in a pinch.

The PC version of Brink doesn't suffer from the so called "consolitis" that afflicts many recent titles. It truly feels built from the ground up for the platform, with a wealth of customization for the graphics and controls, and also dedicated servers for the online mode. An excellent server browser rounds out the package, making it easy to search for the match you want to join. Shooter fans defniately can't go wrong with Brink.

Bastion Review

Bastion (Steam)
Developer: SuperGiant Games
Publisher: Warner Brothers
Released: August 16, 2011
MSRP: $14.99 USD

So I recently had the pleasure of playing Bastion by indie dev SuperGiant Games, and boy was it ever a sweet one. I also had the opportunity to observe the dev's interactions with the fans on the Steam forums, and color me impressed, they listened to what the fans wanted. From adding new features to squashing bugs, SuperGiant Games have gone above and beyond the levels of support that I have witnessed with other companies. But enough about the developers, time to talk about the game!

Bastion starts out with you taking control of the game's silent protagonist, The Kid, deep asleep in his bed, oblivious to the calamity that has befallen his world leaving only his bedroom floating in the void. As the smooth-talking Stranger narrates your every move, he sets out on his journey. As The Kid makes his way through the world, the ground constantly rises up from the void to make new paths for you to explore. It should be noted that everything in the game from the backgrounds to the Kid and his foes are watercolor paintings, superbly rendered in 1080p. The production values for the art alone is staggering, and the same can be said about the soundtrack, which ranges from twangy western numbers to haunting ambiance.

As for the gameplay, Bastion is an action rpg akin to such titles as Secret of Mana and The Legend of Zelda. Anyone who has played either of those titles will feel right at home with the combat system, which features a bountiful variety of ranged and melee weapons, all of which are upgradable with crystals that you find throughout the world. You can also find tonics (known as Spirits) to unlock passive abilities that will help you on your way, and special attacks to devastate your foes. In the end. the game boils down to crawling through gorgeous dungeons looking for cores to use in the game's main hub, the titular Bastion, these cores allow you to rebuild the world in the way you see fit.

Altogether you can expect to spend about 8-10 hours playing bastion, though you can expect to spend a lot more time wandering around, there are secrets aplenty. RPG Fans will find a lot to like here.